Life, Love, and the whole crazy thing
by msashlyjudd8
Summary: Jacob and Edward have been togather a year now. After one night of fighting and making up, Jacob has a suprise that just might shock Edward. Slash J/E I Don't own these characters. NOT AN MPREG STORY!
1. Chapter 1

E POV

"**You know what Edward, fuck you" Jacob bitterly sneered at me.**

**I watched as Jacob turned and walked out of the movie theater. Tonight had been going so well. Jacob and I finally had a free night to be alone together and decided to go to the movies, before I took him home to our cottage and fucked his brains out. At lease that was the plan.**

**Jacob looked exceptionally delicious tonight, in his tight black jeans and white t shirt. His long silky hair was pulled back to expose the beautiful bronze skin of his neck, that I spent so many nights nipping and sucking on. Unfortunately, it seemed that every person inside the damn theater had the same thoughts. I slid my hand into his and pulled him close to my side. Jake just smiled and wrapped his arm around my waist. He had no clue the dirty thoughts I was having to listen to. I was getting angrier by the minute.**

**When Jake and I stepped up to the stand to get him some popcorn and a soda, the guy behind the counter looked Jake up and down. _"damn, I wouldn't mind playing cowboys and Indians with him." _My head snapped up to glare at him. He managed to blush a little before taking our order. My hold on Jake once again tightened. Jake turned to look at me, as I was still glaring at the asshole behind the counter. Realization finally flashed in his mind that I was hearing things that I didn't want to hear. He wrapped both hands around my waist and kissed me. "baby, calm down, I only love you. Just try not to listen" Jake whispered in my ear. With a tight nod, I took Jake's hand and pulled him away from the concessions stand.**

**I never considered myself possessive. Bella told me once that I could be a bit over powering when jealous. Of course, she also called me an asshole when I left her for Jake. Walking down the long hallway to find the right door to our movie, I noticed a man walking toward us. I couldn't read his mind very clearly, he seemed to be a little drunk and had a small smile on his face. When he got closer I could tell he was looking at Jake. Than his thoughts turned to himself and Jake naked in the shower. I stiffened. I could feel my temper rising once again. I looked at Jake who was paying no attention, he was holding my hand and drinking his soda with the other.**

**The man was clearly trying to get Jake's attention, but it didn't work. We kept walking, and I hoped he would go away before I had to kill him. The guy didn't seem to notice the murderous scowl I was giving him, warning him to go the fuck away. When we got closer and were just about to pass him by, he took a step to his left, right in front of Jake. We had to stop walking as to not run right into him. Jake finally looked up at the guy who was smiling. His eyes then flashed to mine and then back to the jackass blocking our way. **

"**Hi, my name is Tony." The guy said holding his hand out to Jake. Timidly, flashing his eyes once again to me, Jake let go of my hand to shake his. "uh...hi, I'm Jacob, and this is my boyfriend Edward." The mans eyes didn't look my direction, they stayed on Jake's body. Flashes of a motorcycle played in his mind, Jake bent over it screaming his name as he took him from behind. "Your really cute, do you think I can get your number?" I grabbed Jake's hand and yanked him back toward me. I must have yanked a little too hard, because Jake stumbled and fell against my body. I caught him and steadied him, but his popcorn slipped from his hand and tumbled all over the floor.**

**The idiot still stood there, laughing at us now. Jake looked up at me and then down to the floor. "What the hell Edward" He said angry now, but things were about to get much worse. "It's OK baby, I'll pick it up for you. I'll even buy you a new one, if I can have your number." That was it, this jackass needed to be taught a lesson. Stepping around Jacob, I grabbed the guy by his shirt and slammed him against the wall, not using my full strength. I didn't want to kill him, but I wanted to make my point clear. "Listen very closely. Turn around, get on your shiny motorcycle and leave, before you really make me angry." His eyes were large with fear, as a small growl erupted from my chest. I pulled him forward and pushed him toward the door, where he promptly fell on his ass.**

**Scrambling to his feet, he ran for the door. I was so angry that I had to close my eyes, and clench my hands to calm myself down. Slowly I turned around, only to be met with seething eyes on Jacob's beautiful face. He was angry with me. "What is your problem Edward? You didn't have to scare the shit out of him." he all but screamed at me. "I'm sorry baby, but you didn't hear the things he was thinking of doing with you" Jake's eyes narrowed even more. "I can't believe that he asked for your number, knowing I was your boyfriend" I stopped, grinding my teeth together. I really should have killed him**

"**You know what Edward?" Jake shouted at me now. I turned trying to read his thoughts, but all I could hear were bad words and anger at me. "I love you, but I am not your property. You don't own me. I know he was being a jerk asking for my number in front of you, but I can take care of myself. I don't need you to defend me, and better yet, I don't need you making me look like I'm a defenseless girl." I took a step toward him and reached for his hand, but he pulled his hand behind his back and backed away.**

"**Jake, I'm sorry. He just made me angry, and when you didn't say anything when he asked for your number, I just thought I would get rid of him myself." Jacob snorted and slowly shook his head. "You know Edward, Bella told me once that you were a little Jealous around others, but this is..." He waved his hand at the floor where his popcorn had fallen. "This is beyond Jealous. You didn't even give me a chance to defend myself." I could feel my anger boiling over now, but he continued.**

"**Do you know what it's like for me to be with you? Everywhere we go girls flock to you. Do you see me embarrassing you in front of a theater full of people? or threatening girls who find you attractive? No, you don't"**

**I knew he was right. Bella and I had had this fight many times, and more times than I can count since getting together with Jacob. It was hard for me to hear other people thinking vulgar things about the one I love. I had been alone for so long, I didn't know how to properly be with someone. Jacob's face softened a little bit as he continued. "Edward, I love you. I'm not going to leave you, but you have to let me live my life. You have to let me have a voice. I could have told that guy to go away without scaring him half to death. I'm not defenseless...Edward, I'm not Bella." I couldn't help myself as my anger flared again. "How many times are you going to throw her in my face?" I growled at him. I automaticly regretted my tone as Jake's eyes narrowed with his own anger. "You know what Edward, fuck you" he sneered at me and turned to walk out of the theater.**

**Sighing heavily, I pinched the bridge of my nose. I don't know why the mention of Bella's name always brought my anger to the surface, but it was quickly becoming a problem between me and Jake. This is the first time though that he has walked away from me. I still felt like a complete failure for what happened with Bella. A week before our wedding, Jake came over to Bella's house to no doubt drive me crazy. The minute he walked in the door he grabbed Bella in a full on bear hug, and smugly smiled at me, to see my reaction. Very quickly though, his smile faltered, and his eyes bulged out of his head. My brow furrowed, because at that moment his mind went blank. For a long moment he stared at me, and when his senses came back, he turned and ran out of the house.**

**Two days later, Bella called me crying, telling me to come and get her from the boundary line to La Push. I was angry, and broke all the speed records to get to my Bella. I took her home where she explained to me that Jacob had imprinted on me. She cried and begged me not to leave her. I held her tight all that night, as she slept in my arms. I could hear Jacob running around Bella's house in wolf form. This time he wasn't there to protect Bella from me. He was there to see if I was going to stay with her. At the time, I was angry. I had no intentions of leaving Bella. We were getting married and had plans to change her after the honeymoon. My life was finally falling into place, and no dog was going to change my mind. Or so I thought. Jacob showed up at the wedding, and to everyone's surprise he was extremely civil. **

**There I stood next to Carlisle, as Rosalie started playing the wedding march. The guests stood and turned toward the stairs, waiting for my beautiful Bella to make her entrance. Out of the corner of my eye I could see that Jacob hadn't turned. He stood there in the front row looking directly at me. I felt a pang of something in my chest and quickly pushed it down. Jasper's head whipped around to look at me, and my hands started to shake. _NO!!! _I told myself. _Don't do this to me, not now, not when I just found Bella. _I heard gasps coming from the guests, and looked up to see Bella descending the stairs. She looked absolutely beautiful. Her cheeks were a rosy shade of red, her hair was pulled up into intricate braids, her hands shook around the bouquet in her hands. She was perfect. And, I. Felt. Nothing. For the first time in my long life, I was truly terrified. **

**I quickly looked to Jake. He knew. My lip started to tremble, and I tried as hard as I could to hold in the sob rising in my chest. I wanted to run, I wanted to stay, I wanted to be normal. I wanted to take Bella in my arms and love her forever, like I promised. My body was trembling as Charlie escorted Bella down the Isle, and gently laid her hand in mine. I looked into her beautiful eyes, willing myself to love her. It didn't work. I could hear Jacob's heart slamming in his chest, and I wanted to wrap my arms around him. Try as hard as I might to refuse it, Jacob had stolen my heart. Suddenly, and very quietly I heard Alice gasp. In her mind played what was about to happen. I winced and blocked it out.**

"**Welcome Guests" The preacher started. I had to stop this before it got any further. "Wait...stop" I said very quietly. Bella's beautiful brow furrowed. "Edward?" she whispered very softly, raising her hand to touch my cheek. I raised my hand to cover her's and held it there. "Bella, I..." I couldn't say it. I lowered my head and squeezed my eyes shut. "Edward, please tell me what's wrong" she spoke again. I raised my head and looked in her eyes. "I'm sorry" I whispered, and then my eyes went to Jake. **

**The rest of that day went by in a confused flurry. When Bella realized what I was apologizing for, she ran. Still in her dress, she got in her truck and drove away. I was cursed out by Charlie and Alice for hours. Carlisle was the only one who kept his calm. Politely, he explained to me that it would be a good idea if I left for a while. I was still considered a part of the family, but he wanted tensions to calm. So I left. The house still full of guests, and my family, I walked out the door and ran. I ran for two days straight. When I finally stopped, I was in northern Canada. I was in the Forrest surrounded by trees. I sat there for three days before Jake found me. Jake pulled me into his arms, and held me as I sobbed into his chest. Jacob told me that Bella had run away, and nobody could find her. He asked me to call her, to see if she would answer. On the first ring she answered with a "What do you want?" **

**We talked and cried with each other on the phone for hours. She was in a hotel in the middle of California. Eventually we both calmed down, and she told me she didn't hate me. She told me it wasn't my fault that I had fallen for Jacob, I didn't have a choice. She told me she loved me and she always would, but she wasn't going back to Forks. She wanted to get lost in the world, and find her way again. She made me promise to take care of Jacob, and I in turn, made her promise that I would see her again one day. She agreed and we said goodbye. **

**Even though Bella and I ended on good terms, I still felt like a failure every single day. I promised her happiness and I had failed. I think that is why I held onto Jacob so tightly. We only had each other, and I was terrified to lose him. We didn't go back to Forks to live with my family. When Jake made the decision to come and find me, he was excommunicated from his pack. Carlisle and Esme had forgiven me, but my brothers and sisters all hated me. They had all come to love Bella very much, and were looking forward to having her as a Vampire sister. Carlisle secretly helped Jake and I purchase land, and build a cottage of our own in Canada. That was a year ago.**

**When I walked out of the theater, Jake stood next to my car. He had tears in his eyes and he was looking at the sky. I tentatively walked to stand in front of him. His eyes met mine, and my heart almost broke in half. I hated seeing him cry, and knowing that I was the cause made me feel worse. I walked forward and leaned my forehead on his chest. I knew he wanted to be mad at me, but I was his imprint and it was almost impossible for him to stay mad. I loved him so much it hurt, and I knew I was hurting him by acting the way I did. Slowly Jacob's stiff stance broke and his arms wound around me, his cheek laid against my hair. "I'm sorry" I whispered against his chest.**

**Without speaking, Jake and I climbed in the car and drove home. I took his hand and lead him into our little house. We both kicked off our shoes, and I took him to our bedroom. He was still hurting and I needed to apologize. Taking his hand, I led him to the bed and we both sat, legs crossed facing each other. I took his hand between both of mine and started drawing lines in his palm with one of my fingers. "I love you" I said, still looking at our hands. "I love you too" he replied with watery eyes.**

"**I need to apologize Jake" I said looking in his eyes now. "I started thinking after you left, about why I get so angry when you talk about Bella. I started thinking about the wedding, and how much I hurt her. How much I hurt my family." I looked down at our hands again. Jake had taken one of my hands now, and was rubbing it between his, like he was trying to warm me up. "I feel like such a failure Jake. I loved her, and I promised to love her forever. She was suppose to be a part of my family. I guess I'm just scared. I love you so much, and I don't want to lose you too. You're all I have left." I was on the verge of losing it big time, when Jake pulled me into his arms. "Baby, you don't need to be afraid. I love you, I am not going to leave you ever." I sat up and turned my body to face him. I took his face in my hands and pulled him forward to kiss me. "please make love to me" I whispered against his lips.**

**Jake leaned forward again to kiss me. His hands came up to my shoulders, to gently push me to lay back on the bed. Slowly, Jake used his knee to spread my legs, so he could kneel between them. When Jake needed to pull away to breath, his soft wet lips went to my throat. My hands wound around his back and under the back of his shirt. When my cold hands touched the hot skin of his back, he gasped and his body shuttered. I pushed his shirt up, and he sat up so he could pull his shirt off, and throw it to the floor. Jake's beautiful bronze skin never failed to take my breath away, and I couldn't stop myself from reaching out and running my hand down his chest. He shuttered again and moaned. His lips crushed back down on mine, as his hands came up to unbutton my shirt.**

**When the last button was undone, Jake sat up so I could take my shirt off and throw it to the floor with his. His warm hand pushed me back down and his lips closed around my nipple. This time it was my turn to shutter, as he hot tongue licked my nipple and his lips sucked it gently into his mouth. I hissed, and my back arched as his hand came down to palm my throbbing erection. "Please Jake" I moaned as his mouth moved to my other nipple to drive me crazy. His hand was squeezing and messaging my length through my Jeans. I was close, but I didn't want to come until he was inside me. "Baby, please. I need you"**

**Jake released my nipple and stood from the bed to remove his jeans. I unbuttoned my jeans and Jake helped me to pull them off, adding them to the growing pile of clothes on the floor. Both of us naked now, Jake took his place again between my legs. His body covered mine as he leaned down to kiss me gently. "I love you" he said against my lips, and then he deepened the kiss. His warm tongue pushed into my mouth, exploring and tasting me. I moaned and tilted my head to kiss him deeper. Jake reached for the bottle of lube on the nightstand. Squeezing a liberal amount onto his fingers, he pushed one finger inside me. I whimpered against his mouth, and sucked his tongue deeper. Slowly he pumped his finger in and out of me, preparing me for his large length.**

**When Jake pushed a second finger inside me, I moaned again against his lips. When he curled his fingers and touched the magic spot inside me, I pulled my lips from his and cried out. My head pressed back into the pillow, and his lips went to my throat, sucking and nipping, as he continued to touch and press the magic bundle of nerves deep inside me. God, he felt so good, I thought I was going to die. "Jake...please....I...I cant hold on" I begged. Slowly, he pulled his fingers from me and I whimpered. Jake sat up on his knees and lifted my legs so my feet were flat on the bed, and my legs were spread wide.**

**Jake took the lube and spread more around his cock , and some on my entrance. Sliding forward slightly, he positioned his cock against my entrance. Looking into my eyes, he silently asked for permission to enter me, just like he did every time we made love. I loved him even more for it. I smiled and nodded. Gently, Jake pushed just the head inside me. We both groaned, and once I adjusted to his size, he pushed the rest of the way inside me. He stayed still, as he laid his body down on mine and captured my lips again. His hips started moving very slowly, gently making love to me. **

**After a few moments of gentle rocking, Jake whimpered desperately against my lips. He was close. I was close too, I just needed a few more deep strokes and I would fall over the edge. Jake slightly changed his angle to brush against my magic spot. I whimpered just as desperately, and my body jerked. Our kiss turned more heated, but his speed didn't change. He entered me once, twice, each time hitting the spot. The third time was the charm. I ripped my lips from his and threw my head back. I screamed with my orgasm as Jake continued to push in and out of me, to prolong my pleasure. I clung to his shoulders tightly as pleasure shot through my body. Jake pushed inside me twice more, before he threw his head back and roared with his orgasm. I shuttered, and my eyes rolled back in my head as his hot seed spilled inside me.**

**Finally, we both collapsed in a tired and satisfied heap back to the bed. Jake's breathing was ragged against my chest. I wound my arms around him, holding him to my body as tight as I could without hurting him. We laid there for a long time not talking. Jake's breathing had evened out and I thought he had fallen asleep. His mind was in a state of bliss, so he had no thoughts for me to read.**

**Suddenly, Jake's head came up and his eyes met mine. "Your not a failure, Edward. Your loving, and beautiful and perfect, and I love you." I smiled and reached up to touch his cheek. His eyes then lowered, and I could see worry on his face. His mind was still blank, although I could tell he was working really heard to keep it that way. Jake pulled out of me, and sat up on the edge of the bed. I sat up and scooted to sit next to him. "Jake, what's wrong? What are you keeping from me?"**

**He looked scared, but he took a deep breath and gave me a small smile. "I know for a fact, that your not a failure Edward" I quirked an eyebrow at him for him to continue. "OK, baby, please don't be mad at me, but I have something to tell you." I tried harder to read his mind, to see what was making him so scared. "Tell me Jake" I said in an even tone. He sucked in a deep breath and blew it out loudly. His heart rate picked up. "Jake, your scaring me now. Please just tell me" He reached out and took my hand looking deeply into my eyes. **

"**You haven't talked to your family in almost a year right?" he asked. "Yes" I replied confused. "OK, well I have." He stood then and started pacing, and then he started talking very quickly. "They moved to Alaska, about six months ago. Alice said it was safer to raise a newborn in Alaska, where there would be more people to help, and there aren't so many humans around..."**

"**Wait...stop Jake, What are you talking about? What newborn?" I was totally confused now.**

**He took another deep breath, and his heart started slamming in his chest. "This is where the mad part comes in Edward. You have to promise not to freak out." I stood from the bed and pulled him back to sit next to me. "I promise I wont freak out, now, what is going on Jake?"**

"**OK, here goes. Bella went back to Forks six months ago. She didn't go home, she went to your family." My eyes bulged out of my head. "Calm, Edward" Jacob reminded me. I took a deep breath through my nose as he continued. "She went to them, and told them she still wanted to be apart of their family. They were all so happy to have her back, they agreed. She moved in with them, and they made plans to change her. Her father and mother still think she is missing, and none of the wolves knew she was back." I was too shocked to me be mad.**

"**Carlisle made the decision to keep this a secret from you. He didn't know how you would feel about Bella being turned, after you two didn't get married. She moved with them to Alaska, and Carlisle changed her. I talk to Alice every month or so, and she has told me that Bella is doing great." Jake smiled a brilliant smile then and took my hand. "She has amazing self control, and has taken well to hunting animals." I felt like my head was going to explode with all this new information. "They have discovered that she has a gift. She is what they call a shield" I gasped, and surprisingly, I smiled. That explains me not being able to hear her when she was human.**

"**OK, now that the hard part is out of the way, I have one more thing to tell you" I didn't know if I could take much more, but I stayed silent and listened. "The whole family, Bella included, wants us to come home. They miss you very much. They had a brand new house built in Alaska. I am suppose to tell you that they are very sorry for how they treated you, and that they all love you very much. They want to be a family again. They have Bella back, and now they want you too." I felt like my brain was fried. I flopped back on the bed and threw my arm over my eyes. Jake chuckled, and lay down beside me.**

"**What do you think baby?" Jake asked, obviously pleased that I hadn't freaked out after all.**

**I smiled and turned to look at him. "Lets go home."**

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**End Note: What do you think? If I get enough reviews I might continue.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Its been a while since I have updated any of my stories, but this story kept calling to me. finally we find out what happens when Edward and Jacob go home. You might need some tissues. I know I did when I wrote it. Enjoy.**

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Jacob POV:

The week fallowing mine and Edwards fight was hectic. At least it was for me, Edward spent most of this time on the phone talking to Bella. At first it didn't bother me because I knew that Edward needed this time to come to terms with his and Bella's failed relationship and the way things ended. I spent my week tying up loose ends. Edward and I were were both in college so I went down and transferred our transcripts to a college in Alaska that Alice suggested. I also handed in my resignation to my boss at the mechanic shop I worked for.

I also had to go into town and buy boxes to have our stuff shipped to the new house. I was in and out of the house everyday doing busy work getting ready for the move. Edward however hardly did anything. Every time I came home he was sitting in the same chair, talking on the phone to Bella. I went to bed every night alone. Edward and I hadn't spent a night apart in almost a year, and I was starting to feel lonely. I told myself that Edward needed this time to reconnect with her, but it still hurt that I went to bed alone and woke up alone.

One the third day I came home and found Edward still on the phone, and decided it was time to spend some time together. Walking into the living room where Edward was sitting on the couch, I leaned over and kissed the top of his head. He didn't even stop the sentence he saying to acknowledge me. Trying again I leaned down and kissed him right behind the ear. Usually kissing him their drove him wild, but he just leaned away from me and continued to talk. I was a little hurt, but I told myself to be patient. He had just gotten his family back. Determined to get some of his time I finally leaned over and wrapped my arms around his neck from behind. I just needed to feel the connection that we had. I was feeling a little abandoned and I just wanted a few minutes of his time.

With my arms around his neck, I gently took hold of his ear with my teeth and sucked his ear lobe into my mouth. I expected him to moan or turn his head and kiss me like he always did. What I didn't expect was for Edward to pry my arms from around his neck and stand from the couch. He didn't even turn to look at me as he walked to the sliding glass doors and out onto the deck where he continued to talk. Rejection burned through me all the way to my heart. It felt like he had slapped me, that probably would have hurt less then him rejecting me. The tears welled immediately and I quickly wiped them away. I refused to be some winy little girl who cry's every time their boyfriend ignores them.

Standing in the middle of the living room I watched Edward throw his head back and laugh at something Bella said. I hadn't seen his beautiful smile in so long, and it hurt that I wasn't the one who put it there. The goddamn tears started again so I turned and made my way to the bedroom. I finished packing the rest of our belongings as I tried to keep the tears at bay. Something inside, a voice in my head kept telling me that I was losing him. I tried to ignore it but it only got louder. When I was finished packing it was dark and I was exhausted. I needed a shower and a good nights sleep.

I walked out to the balcony where Edward still stood talking on the phone. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned my head on his shoulder. "It was good talking to you too Bella. I can't wait to see you." He said into the phone. My heart stuttered for a split second, and I winced from the pain that it caused when he said things like that. He hadn't even spoken two words to me in three days. My eyes started to burn and I knew the tears were probably going to spill this time. It sounded like he was finally going to hang up so I unwrapped my arms and quickly wiped the tears from my eyes. "goodnight sweetheart, I'll see you in a few days."

Edward turned to me with a huge smile on is beautiful face, and that was when I noticed that his eyes were pitch black. I sighed in defeat, because I knew that he wouldn't be spending the night with me again. I lowered my head and squeezed my eyes shut to stop the tears once again. "Hey baby, sorry I was on the phone for so long. Did you get much of the packing done?" My voice came out a little strangled as I told him yes. My heart broke a little more, because he hadn't so much as kissed me in three days and the only thing he wanted to know is if the packing was done. Edward walked past me into the house, and I fallowed him into the bedroom and sat on the bed as he changed clothes. Once he was done he grabbed his keys off the dresser, and with one brief look back at me told me he would be back in the morning, that he needed to hunt.

As soon as I heard the car pull away from the house I finally broke down. The tears came in waves, and the pain was so bad that I had to clench my teeth and ball my hands into fists. The part that killed me the most was, Edward was a mind reader and had always been able to know what I was feeling. If he had been thinking of me or paying attention at all he would have known that I was dying inside. He would have known that I needed him. Crawling up on the bed, I buried my head in the pillow and cried myself to sleep.

Two days later found Edward and I boarding a private Jet that Carlisle had sent for us. Nothing had changed in the last two days between us. Edward didn't lay with me as I slept, he didn't kiss me or hug me or even pay much attention to me at all. We talked occasionally as we packed the rest of the house. When the moving truck arrived to drive our belongings to Alaska, we silently carried every piece of our lives together and put them in the truck. My heart ached every single second, but I refused to let myself cry anymore. I sort of shut down, much like Bella had done when Edward left her to make her safe.

The plane ride was only a couple hours, but I slept almost the whole way. I woke up to Edward shaking me gently awake. When I opened my eyes his face was only inches from mine. "wake up sleepy, were here" he said with his beautiful crooked smile. For a split second I thought he was going to lean in and kiss me liked he used to every morning. His eyes stayed locked on mine, as if he were searching for something. I smiled lovingly at him and started to lean in, but abruptly he stood and started gathering up the things he had brought with him on the plane. Clamping my eyes shut, I set my jaw to fight back the emotions that were threatening to overtake me.

After gathering my I pod and carry on bag, Edward shockingly took my hand and we left the plane. We were met on the tarmac by the whole family. I had to smile at their excited faces. Even Rosalie looked excited to see us, well not me, but probably Edward. When we got close enough Edward dropped my hand and embraced his father in a tight hug. Alice almost knocked me over as she flew into my arms. I had to drop my bag and wrap my arms around her as I stumbled back a few steps. Everyone chuckled at my shocked face as Alice wrapped her little arms tightly around my neck. "Welcome home Jake" she whispered In my ear. Suddenly I was overcome with emotion and my throat felt thick. I had had my emotions pushed so far down in the last week with the way Edward was acting, and when Alice lovingly welcomed me home, my emotions sprung the surface. "thanks Ali" I managed to get out with a shaking voice. Esme was the next to step up and gently wrap me in a hug. "Welcome home sweetheart" she said with a proud smile.

From the corner of my eye I saw Edward wrap Bella in a tight embrace and swing her around. Her legs came up to wrap around his waist as they held each other. My eyes quickly lowered to the ground. Why did that hurt so much? I asked myself. Then I remembered that Edward hadn't so much held my hand in a week until today. "Jake, Dude, how the hell are ya?" I heard Emmett shout as his hand slapped me on the back. I looked up and tried to smile the best I could. "Hey Emmett, I'm good. How are you?" I could feel eyes burning into my scull and looked up to see Alice concentrating really hard on my face. Her eyes went to Edward, who still held Bella and then back to my face. "Were good man, been waiting on you and Eddie here to come home." he leaned really close and lowered his voice "I need someone else to wrestle with, Jasper isn't much fun ya know, being all emo and stuff." he stood back and rolled his eyes playfully and then a huge smile broke out on his face. I looked over to Jasper, carefully avoiding Alice's eyes to see Jasper glaring daggers at Emmett. I tried to smile as Emmett broke out in hilarious laughter at Jasper's face.

"Come on dude, you can ride with Rose and me. You guys are gonna love the new house." I picked up my bag and started to fallow Emmett to the car, but stopped short when I saw Edward and Bella holding hands, walking toward Carlisle's car. I tried to drag in a breath, but it felt like my lungs had collapsed. I had to bend over for a second with my hands on my knee's to catch my breath. The pain I had been though the last week in Canada was nothing compared to watching Edward hold Bella that way. When I stood up the car door was closed and Carlisle was driving away. I could not believe that he left me standing there without even telling me he was riding with Carlisle or even asking me if I wanted to ride with them. It was like he didn't even care.

Turning towards Emmett and Rosalie's car I started after them. I kept my head lowered as I walked by Alice and Jasper who still stood in the same spot. When I passed Jasper I heard a small grunt and turned to see Jasper bent over, and his hand clenching his stomach, like he was trying to hold himself together. His face was contorted in pain. I was confused for a second and then remembered that Jasper felt emotions. Quickly I almost ran to the car and jumped inside. That was just what I needed, Jasper knowing that I was hurting so bad. I was going to have to keep a better reign on my emotions.

The ride to the house took about an hour. Rosalie drove and never once looked or even spoke to me. Emmett filled the quit by telling me about the house, It sounded really beautiful. Each couple had their own bedroom and bathroom. Emmett told me that Esme was looking forward to putting the kitchen to use. She had stocked the kitchen with all kinds of food and drinks she could find. Normally just hearing about food made me hungry, but this time it didn't. Actually I hadn't eaten in two days. Normally Edward would freak out if I didn't eat every few hours, but never once did he notice me not eating the the last two days.

The sky was dark, and I was exhausted. Emmett had gone quiet and Rosalie turned on the music as I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the window. She seemed to know that I needed some quiet time. I would have been shocked by her being nice, but I was too numb to feel anything at this point. When we pulled up to the house Alice and Carlisle's car's were already there and everyone was inside. My body was sluggish as I climbed from the car and walked into the house. Alice and Jasper were sitting on the couch watching the Huge flat screen TV on the wall. Alice gave me a sad smile and Jasper leaned into whisper something in her ear. I didn't see Edward or Bella anywhere as I looked around the spacious house. Esme and Carlisle greeted me at the door and quickly gave me a tour of the house. The bedrooms were huge and each bathroom had a tub big enough for two. When Esme let me into my room I was shocked. The room was huge. There was a fireplace at the end of the king size bed. The back wall was all glass, and the view of the Forrest was beautiful. The deck wrapped the whole way around the house and each bedroom had sliding glass door's. "wow" was all I could muster as I looked around.

"Are you hungry dear?" Esme asked after I set my bag on the bed. I was a little hungry, but I just wanted to be alone for a while. "um...no thanks, I think I just wanna lay down for a while." She smiled sweetly and turned for the door. "Esme" I called after her. She stopped and turned around. "Um...do...do you know where Edward is?" she looked thoughtful for a second and then nodded. "Yes, I think he mentioned something about hunting with Bella." I tried to keep the pain off my face as I looked down and nodded. "would you like me to have him wake you up when he gets back?" she asked. I shook my head without looking up. "No, that's alright, thank you anyway though." She stepped forward and placed her hand on my cheek. I looked up and her eyes were so caring that I almost lost it. _I will not cry in front of her. _I told myself. "Sweet dreams dear" she said and then turned and left. The door closed just as a tear slipped down my cheek. He left to hunt and didn't even wait for me to get to the house. A week without him, The way he held Bella at the airport, and leaving to hunt without telling me. All of it hurt so bad that I thought my chest was going to explode.

After changing into pajama pants and brushing my teeth I crawled in bed. I thought back to the last time Edward and I had made love. We were so happy to finally have a free night from my work schedule and school. We decided to have a date night at the movies, and even thought it didn't go as planned, we still ended up making love. Edward was almost giddy after I explained that Bella was changed and living with his family. He held me all that night, and when Bella called the next day, that was when this whole thing started.

Suddenly I shot up in bed. Oh god. It was so simple. It was right in front of my face this whole time and I hadn't even considered it. The talk we had after the fight, the three day phone call, the hug, and the hand holding. Edward wanted Bella back. How could I have missed it? She was a vampire now. She was his equal, she was strong and fast and beautiful. Of course he wanted her back, why wouldn't he? They were finally free of forks, and her parents and the pack. Nobody stood in their way, not even me, because Edward had shown me in the last week that he had given up on us. I flopped back on the pillow and covered my face with my hands. I started crying angry tears then. I had given up everything to be with him. I gave up my father, and my pack and my home, and yet I couldn't bring myself to hate him. I was so incredibly in love with him.

I fell asleep with tears on my cheeks, and woke up some hours later with tears still falling. I woke up to sounds coming from outside the door to my bedroom. It was a whispered conversation.

"He's in pain Edward, what did you do to him?" I heard come from Alice.

Edward chuckled then "Don't be silly Alice, Jake is fine, he is just a little tired from the move he will be fine"

That hurt, because obviously I wasn't fine and he hadn't even noticed.

"Oh really Edward, then how come when you and Bella skipped off to the the car at the air port holding hands, that Jasper almost fell over from the pain coming from Jake huh? Why did his face look like he had just lost his dog when Bella wrapped her legs around you? Why did he spend an hour crying after Esme told him you left with Bella to hunt and didn't even wait for him to get to the house?

Silence.

I was a little shocked. I had spent all of 5 minutes with Alice on the tarmac at the airport and she knew everything I was feeling. I spent a week in pain with Edward, my imprint and he was oblivious.

"Jasper said he could feel the pain coming from him before you even got off the airplane Edward. Tell me something, What was Jake doing while you were on the phone for three days with Bella?

Silence again.

Alice was getting angrier by the minute, and her voice was getting higher.

"Sounds to me like you need to spend a little more time on your relationship and a little less time catching up, because let me tell you something Edward. I had some visions while you were hunting and not all of them end with you and Jake together."

My breath caught and my heart stopped. He was going to leave me. He was going to go back to Bella. Alice could see it, just like I could. I could feel the sob about to come out so I buried my head in the pillow, but of course they could hear it. The door flew open and instantly Edward was on the bed. I was laying facing the door, so I turned my body away from him. Edward gently laid his hand on my arm, but I shook it off.

"Baby, I'm so.."

"Go away Edward" I cut him off. I didn't want his apologies, it was too late.

"God Jake, I wasn't even thinking. I've been so stupid..." his voice started to crack, which only made me angry.

"I said go away Edward" I said into the pillow.

"Baby, please let me explain...It's not what you think"

He tried to lay down behind me and wrap his arm around me, but I was too angry. I threw his arm off of me and stood from the bed. I walked over to the dresser that all my clothes had been put in and started to pull on some jeans. I started to put a shirt on before Edward snatched it from my hand. I hadn't phased in almost a year, but I was pretty goddamn close right now. Edward must have heard that and took a few steps back.

"I don't want you to leave Jake, I want to talk to you. Please."

I didn't want to have this conversation in the house where everyone could hear it, but it looked like I had no choice.

"No Edward, you don't get to talk anymore. You haven't so much as touched me in a week, and after a three day phone call the only thing you can say is 'is the packing done yet?' What the hell is that Edward? Then you leave me standing at the airport without so much as a glace back to see if I was OK. Then your gone before I even get here. I was so exhausted after the flight that I just wanted you to hold me."

I had to look at the ceiling to keep the goddamn tears from falling. God, when did I turn into such a girl? Edwards face was...well it was a lot of things. He looked shocked, guilty and sad at the same time.

"Did you know that I haven't eaten in three whole days because this has all been eating at me? I have been trying to figure out what I did wrong, If I somehow pushed you away. I have cried alone in bed more then I have ever cried in my life. I'm done Edward. I'm tired of crying, I'm tired of waiting to maybe get a small piece of your time."

Alice stood in the doorway looking sad. She nor Edward said a word as I picked up the carry on bag I used on the airplane and pulled clothes from the dresser and put them inside. Edward stood frozen as I walked to the door and hugged Alice. I turned to see that Edward's head was bowed and his eyes were shut.

"You have what you need now Edward. You have your family back and you have Bella."

I took a deep breath as my bottom lip trembled.

"You can finally stop feeling bad for hurting Bella, and have that life you always wanted."

I looked to Alice, who had her face in her hands and back to Edward who was now looking at me.

"I love you. Goodbye" I said, and then made my way past Alice and down the stairs. The rest of the family stood in the living room. Emmett was looking at the floor, with his arm around Rosalie. Carlisle stood in front of the fireplace holding Esme who's head was buried in his chest. Bella sat on the couch with her head in her hands. Her shoulders were shaking and I could tell that she was crying. Alice had fallowed me down the stairs and made her way to Jasper standing by the kitchen door. I could hear her sniffling as she too buried her head in his chest.

"Um...is it OK if I go back to the cottage in Canada to stay until I can get on my feet?" I asked Carlisle.

"Of course Jake, that cottage is yours and Edward's, but I wish you would just stay here. We all want you to stay. We build this house for all of us to live in, that includes you."

Looking around Everyone was looking at me but Bella. She still sat crying on the couch. I wasn't sure if she was crying because I was leaving or because she thought she had destroyed my relationship. I guess it was only fair because, after all I had been the one to take Edward from her.

"I'm sorry, I can't. Could someone give me a ride to the airport, I have enough money from my job to get a plane ticket."

Emmett let go of Rosalie and stepped up. But, before he could say anything everyone jumped as we heard a large crash from upstairs. Edward was the only one upstairs and I knew how bad his temper could get, I just hoped he didn't destroy the house. Carlisle let go of Esme and made his way to the stairs.

"Emmett please help me calm Edward down. Rosalie please take Jake to the airport"

Carlisle and Emmett disappeared up the stairs just as something else crashed upstairs. Rosalie to her credit didn't scowl or roll her eyes at me. She simply picked up her keys and walked out the door. I said a quiet goodbye and gave hugs to Alice and Esme. Rosalie was waiting for me in front of the house. I climbed in and soon we were speeding down the road for the airport.

The drive was very soothing. Rosalie knew I was in pain so she didn't talk. Like before she turned on the radio very low and just drove. Half way there Rosalie's phone rang. She had a short conversation with who I assumed was Carlisle and then hung up. Soon we pulled up to the same airplane that flew Edward and I to Alaska. This was the Cullen's private jet.

"Carlisle said to have a safe flight and to give you this."

She pulled out a credit card and handed it to me.

"Carlisle said you are family, and we take care of our family."

I gave her a small smile and took the card. I had no intentions of using it, but I didn't want to make her feel bad.

"thanks Rosalie" I said getting out of the car. "Be safe" She said and then she drove away.

Five hours later I was walking into our now empty cottage. The couch and bed where the only things still inside. I was glad the bedding was left on the bed. Luckily some of the towels on the shelf in the bathroom were left so I could take a shower. I badly needed a hot shower and about two days of sleep. I still felt pain in my chest every time I breathed telling me I was suppose to be with my imprint and I missed Edward like crazy. But, I decided it was time to be a man and step up. I would get my job back and get back in school, I _would _stand on my own two feet.

I allowed myself this one last night to cry and to hurt for Edward. Memories of our first kiss and the first time we made love on this bed ran through my head. Our first date, our first fight, The dinner he made me after I aced my first semester of classes. I thought about all of it. We had come so far and done so much in just over a year. The honey moon was over though, and the world had given me a huge reality check

I fell asleep finally, too tired to cry anymore.

The next morning I woke up to a banging noise. Sitting up in bed I listened for the noise again. I heard it again and noticed that someone was knocking on the front door. Pulling myself out of bed I pulled on a T shirt and made my way to the door.

Standing on my door step was none other then Bella Swan.


	3. Chapter 3

J POV

Every cell in my body ached to slam the door in her face. To tell her to go home to Alaska, that she had won. I wanted to yell at her and make her feel bad for stealing what was mine. My Edward was now Bella's Edward once again. The wolf inside me wanted to hate her. She was a vampire and she had stolen my imprint. But, when I looked into her amber eyes I saw my best friend. Her eyes were no longer chocolate brown, her cheeks weren't red with color anymore and her skin was ice cold. But, the way her hair fell in her face and the way she chewed her bottom lip and the sadness in her eyes told me she was the same Bella.

This was the girl who came to me broken, thinking that the world was over when Edward had left her the first time. Just looking in her eyes back then I could feel the gut wrenching pain she was in. Bella's emotions always showed on her face, and it was my duty to make her smile again. Somewhere in my twisted logic I fell in love with her, and even though somewhere deep down I knew she would never really feel the same way towards me, I had to try. When the world decided to grace me with my birthright it was Bella who kept me grounded when I thought I was losing myself. Then Edward had to come waltzing back into her life and take her away from me. And as if the world didn't hate me enough, I had to go and imprint on Edward. My world is one big fucked up ball of pain, and the look in her eyes told me the pain was going to get worse.

We stood there for a long moment just looking at each other. I didn't know what to say, or why she was here. Did she come to gloat? To rub in my face that Edward clearly didn't love me like he said he did. That's how my life goes right? I fall for Bella and she chooses Edward. I fall for Edward and he chooses Bella. I felt like a pawn in someone's game. Somewhere some sadistic asshole was sitting back laughing at me. He would give me happiness and laugh as he took it away from me.

"Jake" Bella finally spoke very softly. The side of her lips pulled up into a sweet smile. And with a sigh, I moved to the side so she could come into the house. After closing the door Bella gently took my hand and led me to the couch in the empty living room. I had not yet said a word, and was at a loss as to what to say, so I let her lead me and sat next to her. She let go of my hand and turned her body to face me. I knew I looked like hell from the crying and lack of sleep so I focused my eyes on my hands in my lap.

"We need to talk Jake"

_Here it comes. The speech where she tells me it's her and not me, except this time it's him and not me. _I nodded my head and continued to look down.

"First off I want to tell you I'm sorry. I heard what happened in Alaska with Edward and as you can imagine he is a mess right now."

My heart did a little flip hearing of Edward in pain, butt I locked my jaw. I was not going to feel bad for him. He was the one who caused this mess.

"Jake, I have a lot to explain to you. I need to make you understand why I'm here and why I ended up back with the Cullen's."

_That's easy, she came back for Edward. _I nodded again.

With a deep sigh, she began to explain.

"I guess I should start at the beginning. As you know when I ran out of mine and Edward's wedding I went to California. With what little money I had I rented an apartment and got a job at the local supermarket. I was alone and heartbroken. I applied to a few collages and after a month or so I started going to USC studying Philosophy. A month later I met someone. His name was Stephen, and I met him in one of my classes. He asked me out on a date and I turned him down twice."

My lip twitched into a small smile. I knew how stubborn Bella could be.

"The third time he asked me out I finally said yes. We went out to dinner and talked for hours. When the sun came out the next morning and we were still walking along the beach talking, I knew he was special. It didn't take me long to fall head over heels in love with him. Everything with him was easy. Finally I was free to give my heart to someone without worrying about hurting someone else in the process. And so I did.

Stephen became my boyfriend and we moved in together. We had classes together and the nights I didn't work, we spent at home. He was really wonderful too me."

Bella stopped then and took another deep breath. I turned my head to look at her and noticed her eyes were closed and her hands were fidgeting in her lap. When she started to speak again her voice was very shaky.

"On our three month anniversary Stephen had a whole night planned for us. When I came home from school that day the whole apartment was decorated with red roses. Rose petals lined the floor leading the bedroom, where a new dress laid on the bed. The note laying beside the dress told me I should put on the dress and a limo would be picking me up in an hour.

When I arrived at the restaurant Stephen met me outside and helped me from the car. It was a magical night. He was very romantic. We laughed and held hands, and I cried when he told me he loved me. To say I was shocked when he pulled out a little black box and asked me to marry him is an understatement. I think I cried for an hour before I could answer him."

My head whipped around to look at her in shock. She didn't look at me though. It seemed like she was a thousand miles away. Her head was turned forward and her eyes looked as though she was seeing the story she was telling me. After a minute she shook her head as if breaking from a trance and finally looked at me.

"When dinner was over and the ring was on my finger, he asked me if I was ready to go home. It had gotten dark outside and it was a little chilly so he told me to wait inside as he went to the car to get my jacket. A few minutes later I could hear screeching tires, and then the screaming started. I jumped up from my seat and ran outside to see what had happened.

When I reached the street I found my Stephen. He was bleeding and broken after being hit by a speeding car."

"oh god" I whispered, speaking for the first time. I took her hand as she continued.

"When I reached him he was barely breathing. I got blood on my dress as I laid his head in my lap. I held his hand, and with his last breath he told me he was sorry, and that he loved me."

She didn't stop me as I reached for her and pulled her into a hug. My shirt didn't get wet because she no longer had the ability to cry tears, but her breathing was ragged against my chest. I rocked us for a few minutes before she pulled away.

"You are only the second person I have told that story. The first being Edward. Jake, I need you to know that the phone call was my fault. Once Edward and I started talking everything just spilled out. We talked about Stephen and Edward wanted to know every detail. He asked about school and of course we talked about the wedding."

I had to look down again. That did sort of explain the phone call, but not everything else.

"Jake, Edward explained to me that our failed relationship has effected your relationship because he felt bad. Yes, Edward did hurt me when he fell in love with you. I thought Edward belonged to me, and that I would never find love again. But I did..."

She reached over to touch my cheek, and turned my face to look at her.

"I found love Jake, and so did you. I may have lost mine, but you still have yours. Edward loves you more then anything Jake, and I need you to know that I DID NOT come back to the Cullen's to get Edward back. I came back because I wanted a family. I needed my sister's and brother's back. I needed my best friend."

I couldn't stop the smile then. "You _are_ my best friend Bella, I'm so sorry about your boyfriend. I wish I could have been there for you." Pulling her against my chest again she laughed. When she pulled back, her face turned serious again.

"Does this make it better Jake? To know that he wasn't purposely ignoring you? He was just being a friend when I needed one."

I felt a little better about the phone call, but that didn't explain the rest of his behavior. I wasn't ready to forgive just yet.

"Bella we didn't break up just because of a phone call. There was more to it then that."

She nodded her head and looked as though she was in thought for a second.

"Jake, I'm not sure what happened when we got off the phone, but I do know that at the end of our conversation, Edward did tell me how bad he felt that he let his failure effect your relationship. So I can only take a guess and say that he was mad at himself."

I let my head fall again. Why would he be mad at himself and take it out on me?

"Honey, I know better then anyone that when Edward has a problem he over reacts very badly. I think he had been holding on to the guilt for so long, and then when he figured out that it had all been for nothing he was mad at himself. As for the Airport, I take full responsibility for that. I know it was totally inappropriate and I apologize. I wasn't thinking."

I couldn't speak. I hadn't really thought about all the unresolved issues they needed to work out. Actually, I take that back. I knew all about the issues they had, I just didn't think I would be pushed aside as they worked them out. But, now that I knew that he never stopped loving me and that Bella wasn't back to take Edward from me, I was starting to feel better.

"Forgive me?"

I nodded my head. I did forgive her. She was my best friend and she had come here and told me something really painful to save my relationship. I just wondered...

"Why didn't he come with you?" I whispered looking at my bare feet.

I looked up shocked as she started to giggle. Her eyes were shining and I could see her bright white teeth as she laughed. She shook her head bemused and reached into her pocked and pulled out a phone.

"You two really are very cute" she said and started to dial. I just looked at her confused as to what the hell she could be laughing at.

"Alice, Tell Emmett and Jasper to let him go now." she said into the phone and then hung up.

"Let who go?" I asked. What the hell was going on?

Bella stood from the couch and pulled me up with her, Just as the door to the cabin flew open and Edward rushed inside. My breath caught as I looked at his beautiful face. He looked frantic with worry and I wanted to hold him. I had only been without him almost a day and I missed him so much I wanted to cry.

_When did I turn into such a girl?. Pull it together dammit Jacob._

"Jacob" Bella said. "The whole family came here to bring you back home. I convinced them to let me make things right first. Emmett and Jasper have been holding Edward hostage in the woods while I told you my story. I want to again say I am very sorry to both of you. It was never my intent to come between the two of you. I know you love each other and I would never try and change that."

Bella stepped around Edward to the door. She looked at her watch and then back at us.

"It is now 12:00 and the plane leaves back to Alaska at midnight. I expect the two of you to talk and make up or I will be sending Emmett....."

Bella kept talking but it was like her voice faded out to nothing. She was still there but the only thing I was conscious of was Edward. His golden eyes were slowly turning black. My heart started to pound. He looked like he was going to eat me. I drew in one sharp breath and in one quick movement too quick for even my eyes, Edward slammed me against the wall and his lips were on mine. The world sped up and all of a sudden I could hear everything again. I could hear when Edward tore my shirt from my body. I heard when our bodies tumbled to the floor and most of all I heard the whimper come from my throat as Edward's tongue invaded my mouth.

When Edward pulled his mouth from mine to let me breath, his lips started sucking on the side of my neck and nipping at my ear. I thought I was going to die it felt so good. My chest was heaving and my breathing was out of control, and I couldn't stop myself from crying out when Edward started bucking his hips against mine. My head was thrown back and I was almost sobbing as Edward forced my legs apart with his knee and started thrusting his cock against mine.

I didn't know if Bella had left, and I couldn't find it in me to care. If she didn't, she was going to get a free show. I needed him now, and I didn't care if it was on the floor of our empty cottage.

Suddenly Edwards face came up and his eyes locked with mine. He was searching my eyes again, like he had done on the airplane. He started speaking then and he punctuated every word with a thrust of his hips against mine. "Never...Doubt...that...I...Love...You." I was a whimpering mess, holding onto him for dear life. My hands came up to tangle in his hair and pull his lips back to mine. It has been so long since he had kissed me that I didn't think I was ever going to be able to stop.

He tasted sweet and I wanted to swallow him whole. I cried out into his mouth when he rolled his hips against mine. I was so hard I felt like I was going to burst. Edward must have finally started listening to my thoughts because suddenly my pants were being ripped from my body and Edward was tearing the cloths from his body. When Edward was as naked as I was, he hovered over my trembling body on his hands and knees. I thought he was going to kiss me again, but he just watched as my eyes snapped shut and I cried out, when his Ice cold hand wrapped around the base of my cock. He started pumping me very gently from base to tip.

"No...Ed...I...I can't" I tried to tell him to stop, but his hand was driving me crazy. I couldn't get a sentence out. When his hand came up to the tip and his thumb swept over the head of my cock, I cried out and my body jerked. "P-please Edward" I begged him. I was dangerously close to orgasm and I wanted him inside me. I tried to picture Edward pushing into me to get him to fuck me already, but he just moaned and leaned down to lick my nipple. His soft lips and cold tongue continued to explore down my chest and stomach. When he got to my hip bones he nipped at the skin, careful not to break it, and then sucked the skin into his mouth. Loud moan fell from my lips as I felt pleasure and pain. Edward then pulled back and licked over the bruise he had given me.

When Edward first got here we were frenzied to get close enough to each other. And now, Edward looked like he was trying to learn my body all over again. Like the first time we made love. I however was hard as a rock and aching and I wanted Edward right fucking now. Whenever I would try and touch him he would slap my hand away. If I tried to touch myself anywhere Edward would growl at me. I was quickly becoming frustrated.

"Edward, I love you"

I said hoping to move things along. Edward repaid me by sucking extra hard on the skin on the back of my knee drawing out a loud moan from my lungs. He knew that was one of my secret spots to drive me crazy.

"Baby...Please, I need you now. Please"

I wasn't above begging, but my voice sounded like I was sobbing. When I felt a tear slide down the side of my face I noticed that I really _was_ sobbing. I had been without him so long, and spent so many nights in bed alone that I had forgotten what it felt like to have his skin touching mine. I had forgotten how much time we used to spend just holding each other and loving each other. I needed him so much, and now that I had him back, I couldn't even get his attention.

Suddenly Edward stopped what he was doing and his body was over mine again. His eyes were on my face and his thumbs were wiping the tears from my eyes. He leaned in and kissed me gently. He kissed my forehead, my eyes, my nose and as he finally pushed inside me he captured my mouth with his. We both groaned into the slow sweet kiss as our bodies reconnected. We made love for hours. When Edward wasn't kissing me, he was whispering to me how sorry he was and how much he loved me.

The last thing I remember before falling asleep was Edward picking me up and carrying me to the bed. Edward crawled in bed with me and held me to his chest, messaging my scalp gently until I fell asleep.

"Jacob" I heard someone whisper right next to my ear. I wasn't quite ready to be awake yet so I nuzzled my head into the pillow and pulled the blanket over my head. Someone next to me, who I assumed was Edward chuckled and tried to pull the blanket away. I held it tighter to me and heard Edward sigh.

"Baby, The plane leaves in an hour. You have to get up and get ready"

Edward explained softly through the blanket. I forgot all about Alaska when Edward attacked me in the living room this morning. The last time he did that was two semester's ago and I had to get up early to go take my last final. When I came home from school I found that Edward had cooked my favorite dinner and had decorated the cottage with candles for a romantic night. The minute I walked in the door though, Edward Threw me against the door and kissed me until I nearly passed out and then he fucked me hard an fast on the living room floor in front of the fire place. My body shuttered at that memory. Hmmm I wonder....

"Baby?" I said from under the blanket. I could feel Edward come closer to me.

"Are you ready to get up now love?"

"Um no not really, I was just thinking about that night you made me dinner for acing my classes. Do you remember that?"

"Of course, I had candles set out everywhere and I made you a steak dinner....."

"You forgot when you threw me..."

"Um Jake..."

"Against the door and kissed me until I couldn't breath. And you sucked on my neck for a while until I had a....

"Baby" He said again trying to get my attention but I wasn't listening.

"Hickey, and then you took me in and bent me over the couch..."

"JACOB BLACK!!" Edward screamed finally.

I burst out laughing and threw the blanket off my face. That is when I noticed that the WHOLE Cullen family stood in our bedroom. Each one of them stood there with their mouths hanging open and eyes wide. I could feel my face start to burn and I knew I was going to turn red. So I did the only thing that I thought was mature in this situation. I pulled the blanket back over my head and dove under my pillow. I kept repeating "Ohmygod,ohmygod,ohmybod" over and over again.

After everyone was done laughing, and I still refused to come out from under the blanket, Edward kicked everyone out and told them we would take the first flight out in the morning. I was too mortified to even come out and tell them goodbye. Edward crawled in bed with me and made love to me until the early morning hours. I knew we needed to have a long talk, but for right now I just wanted to be happy.

When we left the cottage this time, we were in love and ready to start a new life togather.

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End Note: I don't really like how it ended, but here you are. let me know what you think.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Prepare for some E/J loving. I also mention god in this chapter. I am not a religious person but I thought it fit for this chapter. Enjoy.**

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**Jacob POV:**

**Bang! Bang! Bang!**

"**For the love of god Edward, will you two give it a rest. Jasper is looking like he is going to eat me and the girls are all out shopping." Emmett screamed from outside our bedroom door. I started to laugh, but my breath was quickly turned into a moan as Edward pushed inside me. His lips stole mine for a toe curling kiss and my hands quickly tangled into his soft auburn hair.**

**Edward has been insatiable since we got back to Alaska. Most days he wouldn't leave my side for one second, always asking me if I was OK or if I needed anything. I knew he was trying to make up for the way he treated me, and I loved him for that. I tried to tell him to back off a little-that he was being a little to clingy, but he wouldn't listen. The most embarrassing thing was when Edward was in the mood. I could be sitting on the couch talking to Bella and Alice, and suddenly I would find myself flat on our bed, and my clothes were being torn off my body. I would try to protest or be angry, but the things he could do to my body...**

"**Fuck...Edward, harder" I gasped into his mouth. You would think I would be embarrassed that Edward ravaged me on a daily basis in a house full of super hearing vampires, but when his hands were on my body and his mouth was connected to mine, I tended to forget about anything. **

"**Goddammit Edward, Jasper is going to rape me if you two don't knock it off. This is the third time today." Emmett continued to shout through the door. Edward didn't listen though, and his hips continued to snap into me. When Edward hit my sweet spot I cried out and pulled his lips back to mine.**

"**Jasper, stay back. I will rip your arms off"**

"**Fuck, Jake, I'm gonna come" Edward whispered in my ear, and then sucked the skin at the base of my neck.**

"**Jasper, I said no dammit"**

"**Ed..." I was so close I just needed a little more. "Baby...Just...a little...more..."**

"**NO!! Jasp..." Emmett's voice cut off.**

"**Oh god, right there Edward" I screamed, and my back arched off the bed as I hit my peak. My body trembled and my hearing stuttered as my orgasm ripped through me. Somewhere far off I could hear Edward roar with his orgasm, and then I felt him let go inside me. I started to come down from my high slowly and felt Edward collapse on top of me. His head buried in my chest. Both of us were breathing hard trembling with aftershocks.**

**A few minutes later a loud crash came from outside the bedroom door. Edward raised his head to look at me, and then he dropped his head back to my chest laughing loudly. I started to ask him what happened when the shouting started.**

"**I'm going to fucking kill you Jasper" Emmett shouted.**

"**What happened?" I whispered to Edward, who just shook his head and continued to laugh.**

"**I...I'm sorry Emmett, I couldn't help myself" Jasper said sounding embarrassed.**

"**You couldn't stop yourself from kissing me Jasper? How the fuck does that happen? I am going to give you five seconds to run, and then I am going to chase your scrawny ass down and kick your ass."**

"**Emmett..."**

"**One...Two..."**

**Then, silence.**

"**Edward...did we just make Jasper kiss Emmett?" I asked the top of his head. He could only nod his head. I burst out laughing so hard I had tears In my eyes. Jasper was never going to live that down. **

**A few hours later I finally convinced Edward that I needed a rest. When we came downstairs after a long shower the whole family was sitting in the living room. Jasper was laying on the couch with his head in Alice's lap and Emmett was sitting next to Rose pouting and occasionally shooting daggers at Jasper. I snickered and walked through the living room into the kitchen, where Bella stood at the sink putting flowers in a vase.**

"**Hey Bells, whats up?" I asked walking to the fridge. Edward had worked up my apatite and I was starving. I pulled out the carton of milk but stopped before It reached my lips, because Bella was now leaning against the sink with her arms folded across her chest.**

"**What?" I asked, looking down to make sure my zipper hadn't come down.**

**She laughed and shook her head smiling. She turned back around and finished putting the flowers in the vase and then turned and set them on the center island in the kitchen. I pulled an apple out of the fridge and hopped up on the counter watching Bella gracefully walk around the kitchen. I smiled quietly to myself as I remembered watching Bella cook for Charlie back in forks. She would trip over air and then blush tomato red when she caught me laughing.**

**I sighed deeply remembering the old days. Everything had changed so much. The pain in her eyes after Edward left her was almost too much for me to bare. After she gradually started to smile again, I found out just what it was about Bella that Edward loved so much. She was extremely smart, and witty and truly one of the sweetest people in the whole world. I wanted to curse god or whoever it was that kept giving her love and taking it away.**

**Edward and I were part of the supernatural world that she got tangled into. We were born enemies and she was caught in the middle. She had loved us both and neither one of us were worthy enough for her. Or maybe I wasn't looking at the bigger picture. Maybe the soft, warm, human Bella was born to bear the weight of the supernatural world on her shoulders. Much like I was born to be an Alpha, maybe she was born to bring peace to two worlds that had been enemies for far too long.**

**Edward was the love of my life, but at one time we both had been in love with Bella. Two dangerous beings forced to coexist with each other because Bella somehow knew that we were suppose to be in each others lives. **

**I had to wonder what what destiny had planned for her.**

"**What are you thinking so hard about over there?" Bella asked bringing me out of my revere.**

"**Oh, just Life, Love and the whole crazy thing." she smiled sweetly and came to stand against the counter across from where I was sitting.**

"**You really love him don't you?"**

**I sighed and smiled stupidly. "Yeah, I really do."**

"**I really am happy for you both Jake. I can't think of anyone better for you to love. You two balance each other perfectly."**

**I blushed and hopped down and pulled her into a hug. When we pulled back, both of our heads turned to the doorway where Edward stood watching us.**

"**Good morning Edward" Bella said sweetly. Edward didn't respond though, and that was when I saw his eyes were black. I knew he didn't need to feed because he had just hunted yesterday.**

**My heart rate picked up as I watched him watching me. He had that look again. **

_**Oh shit.**_

**I backed away toward the back of the kitchen holding both my hands up facing him.**

"**Edward No" _You cant be horny again already._**

**He simply smiled and started after me very slowly. I knew that look and If I didn't get away, he was going to drag me back to the bedroom again. Bella watched us amused as I rounded the island with Edward fallowing right behind me. **

"**Bella, help me" I pleaded coming to stand right behind her.**

"**Jacob, I just want a kiss" Edward said standing in front of Bella now. His eyes were smoldering, and my resolve was wavering.**

"**Sooo, look at the time. I need to hunt" Bella said trying to escape.**

"**No" I almost shouted, holding onto her shoulders so she stayed between Edward and me.**

"**Baby, Please can I have just one kiss" Edward pleaded with his velvet voice. Bella started giggling and brought her hand up to cover her mouth.**

"**No, you may not have a kiss. As soon as you get close enough you will drag me back to the bedroom. The last time that happened, Emmett almost killed Jasper for kissing him."**

**Bella started full out laughing then, and Edward just smiled.**

**Turns out Jasper did run from the house, with Emmett fallowing. Now, just to give you a mental picture of how funny it actually was, picture this. Jasper running from the house frantic trying to dial Alice on his cell phone. Emmett 100 yards behind cussing about being kissed by an emo empath.**

**Jasper ran circles in the Forrest for almost 4 hours before Alice, Bella and Rosalie made it home to calm Emmett down. Edward relayed the events to me from the bed where we still laid. We laughed and made love until the family finally got home.**

"**Edward dear" Esme said walking into the kitchen. "Would you mind playing your piano for a while? It's been so long since I have heard you play."**

**My lips turned up into a smug smile, and Edward narrowed his eyes at me. I knew his plan was to drag me back upstairs, but he wouldn't deny Esme a chance to hear him play. I stepped around Bella and leaned up to give Edward a soft kiss. "Have fun baby, I'm gonna go hunt with Bella."**

**Bella and I left through the back door and I phased as we took off into the Forrest. I didn't like eating raw animals so I watched as Bella quickly caught a small bear. It was very strange to see Bella so small catch a wild animal and kill it. I decided to stop near a small river and phase back while Bella fed. I had seen Edward catch and eat thousands of animals, but it was still a little gross to watch. **

**I always made him carry mouth wash when I went with him to hunt. I shivered as I remembered the first time I watched him feed. He took down a mountain lion and then came over and kissed me. The taste of blood was still in his mouth and...lets just say he was never allowed to kiss me after feeding until he brushed his teeth.**

**Bella finished hunting and joined me next to the river. We watched the water and took in our surroundings in silence. The Forrest was beautiful, it made me miss La Push and running though the dense trees with the pack. I missed my friends, and my father. The Cullen's had taken me in and made me apart of their family, but I still missed all of the friends that I grew up with. I missed seeing my father's smile.**

**It took me a while to be able to admit I missed my father. The day I left to go find Edward after the whole wedding mess my father found me in my room packing a few clothes. He knew where I was going and he begged me to stay. He made me feel guilty that I was leaving him alone while he was confined to a wheel chair. When the guilt trip didn't work he started throwing insults at me. He told me I was shirking my duties to the pack and I was turning my back on my heritage. As I walked out the door to my house he told me how much of a disappointment I was.**

**The whole pack stood outside my house and watched as I climbed on my motorcycle and drove away from my life. Tears fell from my eyes as I left everything I had ever known to go find the one person who would make me happy.**

"**What are you thinking about?" Bella asked softly. She had turned her body to face me and I wondered how long she had been watching me.**

"**I was just thinking about home. Do you ever miss forks?"**

**She sighed deeply and nodded her head looking down.**

"**Everyday." she said sounding very sad.**

"**I hate that I left charlie without even a goodbye. I never once called him from California. I knew he would make me feel guilty for leaving and I would end up back in Forks."**

**I nodded as I picked up a twig, turning it over and over in my hands.**

"**He left me voice mails on my cell phone everyday for months. I always deleted them because I knew I wasn't strong enough to listen to them and not go crawling back home."**

**I stayed quiet and listened, but briefly wondered if she had told Edward any of this during their three day phone call.**

"**The day I met Stephen was the last day Charlie called me. I decided to listen to his message and then wished that I hadn't. He was crying. He said he missed me and that my mom was a mess." **

**She looked far off in the distance and I wondered if she was going to continue. When she did finally speak again it was only a whisper.**

"**I went to see him a few months back"**

**My eyes widened in shock.**

"**I told Carlisle that I just needed to see him. I wanted a proper goodbye even though he wouldn't be awake to hear it. I went to the house during the night when he was asleep and used my key to get in."**

**Bella laughed as she told me that Charlie was passed out in the chair with the TV still on.**

"**I thought about carrying him to bed, but I remembered how cold our skin is to humans, so I let him sleep. I sat on the couch and watched him sleep for an hour. When it was time for me to leave, I wanted to leave something behind to let him know that I had been there, so I found some paper in the kitchen and wrote 'I love you, Dad' and I left it on the kitchen table with my cell phone. I knew that was the last time I would ever see Charlie."**

**I didn't mean to make her sad, but I wanted to be her best friend again. I wanted to help her, like she helped Edward and I get back together. **

"**Tell me about Stephen...I mean if you want too. If it wont make you too sad, I would love to hear about the guy you fell in love with."**

**Bella smiled, and If she was able to blush she would have been tomato red. Then she got a wistful look in her eyes. **

"**He was wonderful Jake. He wasn't extremely beautiful or built like a body builder, he was plain just like me. Most girls would probably consider him a geek..." she chuckled. I smiled.**

"**He had black hair and the bluest eyes I have ever seen. The first two times he asked me out I just wasn't ready to be with anyone yet. Slowly though he became my friend. He made me laugh when we had our conversations about philosophy. Eventually I told him about Edward, and you. I couldn't tell him the wolf/vampire secret, but I told him how much I loved you both. I told him how I planned to spend my life with Edward."**

**Here come's the guilt again. I knew how guilty Edward felt for leaving her at the wedding, but I was the one who had taken him away from her. It must have shown on my face because she scooted closer to me and took my hands.**

"**Jake, please don't feel guilty. You fell in love with Edward, I don't blame you for that. It took me a while to realize that you were meant to be with each other. Stephen and I had many conversations about religion and the belief in god. He helped me to realize that god had a plan for me. He made me strong enough to endure the pain. His plan for me was to bring you two together."**

**I was speechless for a few minutes, but when I looked into her eyes I could see that it was the truth.**

"**It doesn't seem fair though Bella. Why would god give you Edward only to take him away, and then give you Stephen and take him away too? How is that fair?"**

**I felt my eyes starting to burn with unshed tears for my friend. Nothing about our life was fair. How could I be gloriously happy and in love, and she be left with nothing?**

"**I don't have all the answers Jake, I wish I did. After Stephen died I knew that I wanted to be apart of this family. When I finally went back to Forks and saw that Edward had been asked to leave I was angry. I decided that I would ask Carlisle to change me and then I would bring you and Edward back home where you belonged."**

**The day progressed into night as we talked. I was a little shocked Edward hadn't come out to find us or drag me back to the bedroom. I was starting to miss him and after Bella fed one more time we headed back to the house. Edward met us at the back door and gave Bella a hug before she went inside. Edward smiled his crooked smile that I loved and held out his arms for me. I walked forward into his embrace and wrapped my arms around his waist.**

"**I missed you" I whispered into his chest.**

"**I missed you, too. How about we to take a nice long bath and get you in bed ,you look tired." I nodded against his chest as he pulled me toward the house. We said a quiet goodnight to Jasper and Alice on the couch and made our way upstairs to our room. Edward stepped into the bathroom and started the bath while I found some pajama pants to put on before bed.**

**I smiled as Edward wrapped his arms around me and kissed the side of my neck. "The bath is ready baby" I hummed in contentment and turned in his arms to kiss him. Edward took my hand and led me to the huge tub. He stepped in first and sat down and then held out his hand for me to step in and sit between his legs. The scalding hot water and his cold skin felt wonderful. I felt myself relaxing as Edward's soft fingertips made lazy circles on my chest.**

**Eventually Edward took the bottle of body wash and lathered up his hands. When he placed his hands flat on my chest and started gently messaging me I was almost purring. My eyes closed and I laid my head back on his shoulder. I could have fallen asleep I was so relaxed, but that was until his hand made contact with the head of my cock.**

**I flinched and my eyes flew open, but his other hand came up to lay over my heart and he started gently kissing the side of my neck.**

"**Relax baby" he said against my neck as his hand wrapped around me and started gently stroking up and down. I closed my eyes and dropped my head back to his shoulder with a low groan.**

"**I love you, Jake" he whispered as his hand sped up a little. I was too far gone to say anything, I could only whimper. He chuckled and when he licked up the side of my neck to just behind my ear,my body shuttered.**

"**You like that baby?" I could only nod. Edward knew how to touch my body in ways to drive me insane with pleasure. When Edward started sucking really hard on the skin behind my hear, my back arched and I started thrusting into his hand. My heart was pounding and I was sure I was moaning loud enough for the whole house to hear, but I didn't care.**

"**Baby...I..." My breaths were too shallow for me to continue. I could feel the muscles in my lower abdomen start to tighten and I knew that I was going to come really hard. Edward's free hand came up and turned my face so he could press his lips to mine. I whimpered and moaned into his mouth as his hand gripped me tighter and sped up his strokes on my cock.**

**When Edward's tongue invaded my mouth, I felt a sharp jolt of pleasure from head to toe, and I let out a keening desperate cry into his mouth as my body finally let go. Edward moaned as my hips bucked wildly against his hand. He slowed the speed of his stroke, but kept the pressure until my body finally fell limp against his.**

**My mouth broke apart from his finally and I tried to catch my breath. Edward held me until I calmed. My body felt boneless. Edward had to help me stand up and dry off. I could hardly keep my eyes open as he led me to the bed and pulled back the blanket for me to crawl inside. My eyes closed and I was only able to register Edward laying beside me and telling me he loved me before I drifted off to dream land, very satisfied.**


	5. Chapter 5

Authors Note: Kind of an angst-y chapter. Tissues may be needed.

* * *

J POV

I felt like I was floating in a huge swimming pool of ice cold water. My body floated along on the surface, as my eyes were trained above on the midnight black sky. The stars were so bright that I thought if I could just reach my hand up, I would be able to touch one.

I was almost positive I was dreaming. I also had the strong sense that Edward was holding me as I slept, hence the ice cold water in my dream. My body temperature sat at a toasty 108 degrees, and the cold water felt wonderful. The water gently lapped around my naked body as floated. I had no idea why I would be floating in a swimming pool, in the middle of the night, without Edward, but for some reason I didn't care.

Suddenly the picture changed and I was standing in the middle of a dark street. I was fully clothed this time as I stood, turning in a circle trying to take in my surroundings. I didn't recognize this street, and wondered how or why I ended up here. The pavement seemed to be damp from a passing rain storm. I reached both hands down to pat my jeans pockets to find my cell phone. I wanted to call Edward and tell him to come and pick me up. The phone wasn't there though, so I started walking down the street. I could have phased and ran through the Forrest but I had no idea where I was. I decided to keep walking and find a rest stop so I could use the phone.

A shriek, that could rival any teenage girl, erupted from my lungs when I felt a hand touch my shoulder. I whirled around to see who was there and nearly passed out cold. My body froze, and I am sure my face wore the shock my body felt.

"Hello, sweetheart," The beautiful woman standing before me spoke very softly. Tears sprang hard and fast to my eyes, and I seemed to be gasping for air. I couldn't get enough air into my body to control my breathing. My hands were trembling, but not from anger, it was from the utter impossibility of what I was seeing. It couldn't be...it was impossible.

"Mama?" I whimpered, trying to hold the sob that was threatening to break free.

She slowly nodded her head, and almost glided closer to me. She was still smiling as she looked me over. When her hand gently reached out to touch my cheek, my eyes closed and a tear slipped from the corner.

"Please don't cry sweetheart. Everything is going to be fine.," My eyes opened again. "I am so proud of you Jacob. You have grown into such a wonderful young man." I tried to open my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. My body was frozen in shock. My mother, who had died in a car accident when I was young, was standing in front of me. Was I dead too? Did I have a car accident and die and she was here to take me to heaven? Where was Edward?

I tried to push the shock away so I could say _something_ to my mother. She stood in front of me in a flowing white dress. Her hair was still very long and her beautiful brown eyes looked at me the same way she used to when she was alive. Here I stood, a large werewolf - a hunter of vampires and yet, when she looked at me I felt like I was a kid again. The way she smiled lovingly at me made me remember the way she used to smile at me and hug me close. My eyes stung and the tears started flowing freely from my eyes, my breathing ragged.

"Oh, baby come here." She spoke softly, holding out her arms for me. I walked forward slowly and let her wrap her arms around my body. I cried freely against my mother's chest. I missed her so much and I didn't know how or why she was here. I just wanted her to hold me.

"I miss you, mama" I cried brokenly against her. Her hand came up to stroke my hair and she kissed my temple. "I know baby, I miss you too."

When my breathing calmed and my tears were under control I took a step back. I needed to know why she was here and how long she was going to stay.

"How are you here mama? I-I mean I though you were..." I couldn't say it.

"I am here to check on you and your sister's. I am also here because your father needs me to show him the way."

"Show him the way? I don't understand...What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"I promise Jacob, you will understand soon. I just wanted to make sure you know that we both love you and we always will."

I thought about my father and the way I had left things with him when I left to find Edward. I haven't called him in almost 2 years, and I was pretty sure he wasn't proud of me at all.

"Mama, I don't live in La Push anymore. I left the pack and Dad when I imprinted on..." Oh no, would she hate me when she found out about Edward?

"On Edward?" She finished for me. My eyes snapped up to hers. She already knew? Her face wore a soft smile when she said it so she must not hate me.

"Yeah," I whispered. "Um..he...he is a...Vampire and Dad and the pack didn't approve of us being together, so I left to be with him." She smiled pulled me in for another hug.

"I know sweetheart. You fought for the one you love and I am very proud of you. Your father didn't understand at the time, but he will very soon. Edward was put on this earth to love you, and you are exactly where you are suppose to be."

I sighed deeply. "I feel bad sometimes that I left La Push. I know that I was suppose to become the Alpha when I was old enough, but I didn't want to be the leader of the wolf pack, and then I just left. I remember the look on Dad's face everyday. Will he ever accept me again mama?"

"Honey, I only have a few more minutes with you, but I need you to understand something. Your father loves you as much as I do. You have grown up to be a wonderful young man. I promise you, I will see you and your Edward again someday. Please tell him not to worry about his soul so much. God loves all his creations and would never deny someone with a soul as pure as his."

She floated back a little ways away from me.

"I need you to be strong honey, and lean on your family when you are feeling sad. They will help you, and give you comfort. Please remember Jacob that we love you very much." She floated further back

"Wait, mama where are you going?" I yelled out as I started to fallow her.

"My time here is over baby, I need you to be strong for me, can you do that?" she asked getting further away.

"Yes...but why?" I shouted confused.

"You will understand soon, I promise. I love you." She said as she slowly vanished before my eyes.

Suddenly my eyes opened. I was gasping for breath, and my heart was racing. Looking around at my surroundings I found that I was alone in bed. Edward wasn't in the room and the sun was shining bright outside. I looked over to the clock on the wall to see that it was just past 7 in the morning. My eyebrows furrowed because I never woke up this early. Edward always had to drag me out of bed at noon everyday. Sitting up in bed, I threw my legs over the side and stood. I made my way to the bathroom. I could very faintly hear the family moving around downstairs.

Walking over to the sink I washed my hands and found my toothbrush. I turned on the water to wet the bristles and started to bring it to my mouth. My hand froze half way to my mouth because My eyes had subconsciously looked into the mirror and what I found confused me. My eyes were red and puffy. My cheeks were stained with dried tears. I was confused and wondering what happened. Had I been crying?

The memory hit me like a ton of bricks. My mom. She was in my dream. She looked beautiful in her flowing white dress. She had hugged me and I cried on her chest. She said she came too show my father the way...

"Oh no" I gasped out loud.

The toothbrush slipped from my hand and clanged into the sink.

In only boxing shorts I turned and sprinted from the bathroom, I threw the bedroom door open and sprinted down the stairs. I didn't notice Alice and Jasper sitting on the couch together, I didn't notice Bella standing at the kitchen doorway, I didn't notice Edward at his piano. I did however notice Emmett when I slammed into his at the bottom of the stairs.

"Whoa, Where is the fire Jake?" he asked with a smile.

I pushed passed him. I ran past a very confused Esme and Carlisle just coming out of his office.

"Jake, slow down honey, What's wrong?" Esme asked me.

I didn't answer though as I made my way to the house phone. My heart was beating out of my chest as I dialed my dad's number in La Push. Edward was suddenly in front of me looking worried, but I couldn't worry about him at the minute, I had to know if it was true. The phone rang once, twice, three times and then...

"Hello?" A voice that was not my father answered.

"Sam, let me talk to my father" I spoke into the phone.

"Jacob?" he asked

"Yes, now let me talk to my father" I said again, angry that he hadn't done what I said.

"Why are you calling now? I thought you ran away with your bloodsucker to live happily ever after" He sneered back at me.

Now I was pissed.

"Sam, you don't own me anymore. I don't need your permission to call my father. Stop being an ass and put my father on the phone right fucking now" I all but screamed into the phone.

My heart was thundering, and my body was starting to tremble. I knew I was panicking, but I could also feel every one of the Cullens standing around me.

"Jake" Sam's voice was softer now and I was almost positive I knew what he was going to say.

"Jacob, your father...he...he passed away about an hour ago."

My eyes slipped closed, and my lip started to tremble.

_**Your father needs me to show him the way**. _My mother's words came back to me from my dream.

"What happened?" I choked out.

"Three months ago the doctor diagnosed him with Cancer. It was too far along too have chemo. Sue and the pack took care of him Jake. We did things around the house for him and Sue drove him to his doctor's appointments. He wasn't alone Jake. The whole pack was here when he passed."

My knee's gave out and I hit the floor with a cry. The phone was taken from my hands and suddenly a cold pair of arms surrounded me. I knew it was Edward. He held me as I fell into uncontrollable sobs against his chest.

"Sam, this is Dr. Cullen. What's happened?" Carlisle asked.

Carlisle listened for a long time as Sam explained.

"I see" he said "Please accept our condolences" Carlisle's sad voice said into the phone.

"Yes...Yes, I'm sure he will...That is very generous of you...Thank you Sam, I will have Jacob call when he feels up to it...Goodbye.

I listened to his conversation but I didn't know what Sam said. Everyone was standing around Edward and me on the floor, but it was totally silent. My sobs had slowed, but the tears were still sliding down my cheeks. Edward kept rocking me back and forth and kissing the top of my head. We sat on the floor for a long time, my eyes closed as I tried to remember everything that my mom said in my dream.

"Jake" someone whispered my name. I opened my eyes to find Esme kneeling down in front of me.

"Honey, I have a shirt and some pajama pants for you. I don't want you to get cold sitting on the floor. Do you think you can stand long enough to get dressed?"

I could tell Esme was worried about me. Her eyes were very sad, and when I looked around the room I could see that everyone looked sad. Seeing Esme sad though made the tears well in my eyes again because she reminded me of my mother. She was the only mother I had now.

"_Edward, I want to go back to bed"_ I said in my head. I didn't trust myself to talk without breaking down.

"He wants me to take him back to bed Esme. Thank you anyway though" Edward said, and then he helped me stand.

Edward let me up the stairs and into our bedroom. He stopped me and came around to stand in front of me. His beautiful golden eyes held worry and sadness. His hands came up and very gently cupped both sides of my face. He leaned his forehead against mine and kissed me very softly.

"I love you, Jake. I am so sorry" Edward whispered against my lips. I nodded.

"_I love you, too. Will you lay with me for a while?"_

"Of course"

Edward pulled the blanket back for me to crawl in the bed, and then tucked the blanket around me. He walked around the bed and lay down behind me. His arm draped over my side and lay flat against my torso, pulling me back against his cool body. His head lay on the pillow right behind mine, where I could feel his cool breath on my neck.

We laid in bed for hours. I drifted in and out of consciousness, but we never spoke. Edward held me occasionally kissing my neck or humming to me very softly. I knew I should get up and call Sam so I could deal with my father's death, but I couldn't make myself move. I just wanted to be held. I wanted to back to my dream and talk to my mom again. I wanted to tell her all the things I should have said to my father. I wanted him to forgive me. The last time I talked to my father he said he was disappointed in me. I wondered if he understood now. Did he know that I didn't leave because I didn't love him. I left because I had to be with Edward. Would he be proud of me for going back to school? For having a job?

When the sun had set for the day and the roomed turned dark again, I started speaking to Edward, just not with words.

"_I knew he was gone before I even called Sam. My mother came to me in a dream and told me she was there to 'show my father the way'. I didn't know what she meant at the time. When I woke up and went into the bathroom I saw that I had been crying. That was when the dream finally made sense to me."_

"She is very beautiful, I can see her in your head. You look a lot like her." Edward whispered.

"_She kept saying they both loved me, I guess I should have put the pieces together then, but I was just so excited to see her again."_

"At least you know your father and mother are together again. They are both at peace now"

"_Yeah, it doesn't make me miss them any less though"_

"I know baby" Edward said, kissing my neck.

"_Do you think he has forgiven me for leaving the way I did?"_

Edward sighed. "I don't know for sure, but I am pretty sure that he understood why you did what you did. He has been around the pack long enough to know that an imprint can't be ignored, and you had to fallow your heart. I know it was probably difficult for him, knowing that you were going to be with a vampire. But, now that he is in heaven, reunited with his love, I am pretty sure that he understands now.

"_I have to go to La Push. I have to at least go say goodbye."_

"I know. Sam said that Billy had everything in order. He wanted to be cremated and buried next to your mother. Everything was paid for ahead of time. Sam said they want to have a memorial bonfire in the next week or so."

I turned over to face Edward so I could look into his eyes.

"Sam also said that he will amend the treaty for one day, to make an exception for me to accompany you to the funeral memorial." My eyes widened at that.

"_Sam is letting you come to La Push with me?" _I had to ask

"Yes, he said it was your right to come and say goodbye to your father. As your imprint and rightful mate I should be allowed to accompany you. He said I had to stay with you at all times when on the reservation and when the day is over, I have to leave. If you want to stay longer to go through your father's things, I will have to stay in our house in Forks.

"_Do you want to come with me?"_

"Of course I do. I don't want you to have to go through that alone. I can respect the pack and keep the peace. I know most of the pack disapprove of us being together, but they all respect your father. I doubt any of them will start trouble. Maybe if we arrive early that day, we can spend the whole day on the reservation and I can help you sort through the stuff you want from the house, and after the funeral and bonfire we can spend the night at the house in forks before coming back home.

"_That sounds like a good idea. I don't want to be there alone. I haven't been there in so long, and I don't think I can handle them by myself. If we go early we can sort through the house before the funeral. We can leave together after the bonfire. My dad didn't have much but there are a few of my moms things that I want to bring back with me. I need to get the rest of my stuff from my old room and my sisters can have what is left._

"OK, baby. Go back to sleep and we can start making plans tomorrow."

I wasn't tired since I had been in bed the whole day, but I didn't want to leave the warm bed or Edward's arms.

When I woke up in the morning Edward was still with me. The minute my eyes fluttered open Edward kissed me gently and whispered "Good morning" against my lips. I was still extremely sad, but I knew I had to get up and take care of business today. I needed to call Sam and make sure that everything was being taken care of. I needed to call my sister's, if Sam hadn't done that already. Edward and I needed to pack and make plans to have the Jet ready when we were ready to leave.

Sitting up in bed, Edward told me to take a shower while he went and made me some breakfast. My muscles were sore from being in bed for so long, but the scalding hot water loosened them up quickly. With my teeth brushed and clean clothes on, I made my way downstairs. I was met with hugs from all the ladies, with exception to Rosalie. She kept her distance, but gave me a sad smile from across the room. Bella's hug was long and tight. She knew it was hard on me, she knew how close my father and I were after my mother's death. I was all he had for the longest time after my sister's both moved away.

After breakfast I called Sam. His attitude didn't make an appearance this time, which I was grateful for. He told me that my father wanted his house donated to the reservation after my sister's and I cleaned out the house. Sam said after hearing me break down on the phone that he had Emily call my sisters and they were on the way. He understood that I wouldn't arrive until the day of the funeral because I wanted Edward with me. Plans were made and times were confirmed. The pack would be in their wolf forms when Edward and I entered the reservation and they would escort us to the church.

For the next two days my family crowded around me. They didn't smother me, but they made sure that they were here for me. Carlisle and Esme both sat me down and made sure I knew that I _did _have parents. They told me they would never replace my real parents, but they would always think of me as their son. I cried pretty hard during that conversation, and Esme held me like I was her own child.

Edward never left my side. He held me when I cried. He didn't try to make me talk out loud when I just couldn't. When I told him that my mother talked about him in my dream he was interested. When I told him she said he did have a soul, I thought he was going to cry.

The night before we were to fly back to Washington, we made love for hours. It was slow and sweet and just what I needed. I had been feeling really alone since my father died, and when Edward took me in his arms and made love to me, I knew I would never be alone again.

"You ready to go baby?" Edward asked as I zipped my over night bag.

It was 5 am and we were flying out at 7am. We had an hour drive to the airport. The family stood on the front porch seeing us off as we drove away to the airport and possibly my last trip to La Push.

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End Note: Next chapter will be the funeral and saying goodbye to La Push, for now anyway.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's note: Back to La Push we go. Time for Jacob to say goodbye and maybe have some sexy times with Edward.

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In another life the images before me might have been beautiful, but right now the only thing I can do is cry and squeeze Edward's hand to keep me grounded.

Edward and I rounded the corner to enter La Push and the breath was stolen from my lungs. 12 wolves greeted us at the border. Six of them sat on each side of the road parallel to each other. Their head's didn't turn to look at us, they stayed forward toward each other. Tears were flowing from my eyes endlessly as Edward maneuvered the car over the border. As we passed the first set of wolves slowly their heads bowed toward the car. As we continued through the precession each of the wolves bowed to the car. It was shocking to me and I would have lost it had Edward not been with me. They were showing respect for me 'The would be Alpha,' coming home to mourn the death of his father.

They may hate Edward and my choice to leave home to be with him, but they all respected me and my family within the reservation.

Edward lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed my knuckles gently. He must have read their minds and knew what was going on. He didn't say anything as we continued to drive toward my house. From the side mirror I watched as the wolves stood and disappeared into the trees. Sam said they would all be around to greet us before the funeral. When we pulled up the my house the whole pack stood in a long line behind Sam. They were in their human forms, and as Edward and I stepped out of the car Sam was the only one to step forward to greet us. Sam nodded his head quickly at Edward and stepped forward toward me. I was pulled into a brief hug then I stepped back into Edward's chest.

"Welcome home, Jake" Sam said. "I am so sorry about your father. We all looked up to him and respected him."

I nodded, unable to speak because of the lump in my throat. I was sad about my father, but as I stood there looking at my old friends and family it hit me how much I truly missed all of them. My old best friends Quil and Embry stood with the rest of the pack. Some of them I didn't even know. Sam turned to look at the pack and then back at me.

"Your sisters arrived yesterday morning and they are at Emily's house helping get the food ready for the bonfire. Um..." Sam looked over his shoulder again and back to me. He wanted to say something, but he didn't want to say it in front of Edward. I reached behind me and took his cold hand in mine. I refused to be without Edward while I was here and they were just going to have to deal with it.

"Jake...Quil and Embry want to speak with you..." his eyes flashed to Edward and back to me, "alone..."

"_What do they want Edward?" _I asked silently. They were my best friends, but I didn't know why Edward couldn't be with me. Edward squeezed my hand and turned my body toward him. His hand came up to my face and he looked deep into my eyes. Instantly I was calmer. He knew I was freaking out a little bit.

"It's OK Jake, They just want to offer their condolences and catch up. They aren't comfortable being close to me. I can wait for you in the house or I can sit in the car, it's up to you." Then he leaned very close to my ear to whisper, "Just remember Jake, they have no idea about Bella being changed. They still think she is missing. You can't tell them, or it could start a war."

He was right of course. I would have started telling them about my life, and Bella being apart of our lives has become so normal that I wouldn't even think twice about it. I would have to keep on my toes and not let it slip. I would tell them eventually, once Charlie had passed on, but now was not the time.

"I thought you said Edward had to stay with me at all times while we were here?" I asked turning to look at Sam again. He looked at Edward and back at the pack again briefly.

"I know I said that...but the pack really want to catch up with you and while I know that Edward wouldn't do anything to upset anyone, most of the pack are very young and have never really come in contact with a vampire. I don't want to test their control today. I just thought maybe Edward could wait inside for a few minutes and then we all have to head over to Emily's to get dressed for the funeral."

Edward squeezed my hand and stepped around me.

"Thank you Sam, for allowing me to be here for Jacob today. I promise you I will be on my best behavior. I know that Jacob misses his pack brothers everyday and I won't stand in the way while they catch up."

Edward turned to me and smiled, and then walked very slowly toward the house. The pack never took their eyes off of him as he walked closer to them to go inside. And then suddenly I was standing in the center of my brothers. I hugged my best friends and thanked them for being there for my father when I couldn't be. Sam introduced me to the younger wolves, who looked at me in awe. I could only imagine the stories that had been told about me. ' The rightful Alpha who turned away from his birth right, only to imprint on a vampire.' It would make for a great movie, if it wasn't my freaking life. Why did everything have to be so damn complicated?

An hour later Edward and I pulled up outside the only church on the small reservation. Families stood around talking and laughing, but as Edward and I exited the car and met at the front, taking hands, All conversations turned silent. All eyes were now on us as we made our way to the doors of the church. Inside soft organ music played. Most of the pack were now sitting in the pews with their families. They too were totally silent as Edward and I walked down the center isle to the front of the church.

My mind had been on so many things since crossing the border today that I hadn't had time to actually mourn. As Edward and I made our way to the front my heart was thundering loudly in my chest. My father had been cremated the day after his death and his ashes were now housed in a beautiful oak box. The carvings on the wood were so detailed that I had to lean in to see what it was. On the front of the box, carved right into the wood, was a small scene with trees and a small stream. As I looked closer I could make out a wolf figure sitting beside the stream with his muzzle raised to the sky as if he were howling into the night.

That was when I finally broke.

A choking sob shook my body, and my knees hit the floor. Edward was instantly beside me and his arm came around my shoulders to hold me. The grief finally took over and I couldn't stop the tears.

"Your father asked Sam to make this box for him." Edward whispered. "The wolf in the picture is suppose to represent you. You are the last living male in the Black family. You are now the protector of the black legacy." That only made me cry harder. Edward seemed to be getting information from someone in the pack. I wondered if he was getting pictures of my father giving the instructions for his urn.

The funeral was short. I sat in the front row with Edward holding my right hand and my sister holding my left. They both liked Edward and weren't afraid to be near him. They just wanted me to be happy. When the church service was over my sisters rode with Edward and I back to my father's house to change clothes. Everyone – minus Edward, changed into shorts and t shirts since the clouds had cleared and it was a warm sunny day. Edward changed into black slacks and a blue button down shirt. We were all ready to leave for the beach when we ran into a bit of a problem. Edward refused to leave the house.

My sisters stood in the living room trying not to laugh as Edward and I bantered back and forth.

"Baby, everyone knows your a vampire. What is the problem?"

"Jake, the sun has come out. Don't you think it might be a little shocking to see someone sitting on the beach glittering like a diamond?"

OK, I admit, even I couldn't stop my chuckle when I pictured that one. My sisters just smiled and kept watching us.

"Please Jake, just go and celebrate with your friends and family. I'm sure Sam won't care if I stay put here in the house. I promise I won't step foot outside until you get back." Edward pleaded with me.

"Edward.." I said in mock anger, "I am giving you ten seconds to get your ass in the car or I will be forced to make you." Edward's lip twitched a little, but he stopped the smile and set his face in defiance from where he sat on the couch. He knew I couldn't physically force him into the car, but what he didn't know is that I had other idea's that I knew would make him see things my way. Edward crossed his arms over his chest and smirked at me.

"I would love to see you try" he said. My eyes narrowed at him, and then I smiled sweetly. Both of my sister's giggled then. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the keys to the rental and tossed them to my sister.

"You ladies go ahead and head over. Edward and I are going to have a little talk and then we WILL be along shortly. Please tell Sam not to start with out us." I didn't take my eyes off Edward as my sisters quietly left the room and the front door opened and then closed. When I heard the car start and pull away I finally spoke.

"Last chance Edward, you can come with me willingly or I will be forced to make you see things my way" I said crossing my arms over my chest. He only returned his smug smile not moving.

"I'm not going Jake. Not until the sun goes down and I don't stick out like a sore thumb. Everyone already stares at me like I am a freak, what would they say when I am sparkling?"

_wrong answer. _I said in my head.

I walked forward never breaking eye contact, I sank down to my knees in front of him. I parted his legs and leaned forward to press my lips to his. Edward responded immediately to my kiss. His hand went to the back of my head and his mouth opened for me to taste his tongue. Once I had him distracted I brought my hand up to palm him through his pants. He made a shocked noise against my lips and tried to pull away but I pressed forward with my lips harder, trapping him in my kiss. My hand started kneading and stroking him in slow patterns. Edward whimpered and the hand that wasn't on my head came down and tried to pull my hand away. My free hand caught his and laced our fingers together at his side. He was helpless now. He was hard under my warm hand as I popped the button on his slacks and pulled the zipper down. His hips bucked unwillingly.

I reached into his pants and took his cock into my hand. He grunted against my lips and his eyes screwed shut. I started at the base and squeezed my hand as hard as I could, stroking him up and down very, very slowly. Edward cried out into my mouth, but I wouldn't relinquish his lips. His breathing was unsteady through his nose as I tortured him.

_Come with me to the beach Edward_. I said in my head. He shook his head no.

I made him whimper as I squeezed the head of his cock making his hips buck again. I would make him come with me if it took me all day. In on quick movement I pulled back from his lips and took him into my mouth, sinking all the way down to his pubic bone. Edward cried out again and his head fell back to the couch. His thighs were trembling around my body and I could tell he was really close to the edge. What he didn't know is that I wasn't going to let him come until he agreed to come to the beach.

I bobbed my head up and down on his cock, making Edward moan deep in his chest and whimper when I stopped and took a second to breath. When it was time to make my move, I reached into his pants and took his balls into my hand. I sucked his cock deep into my throat and swallowed at the same time as I tugged on his balls gently. Edward wailed and his body bowed off the couch almost knocking me back on my ass. I held on though and swallowed again, his legs were trembling and trying to close around me. His tried to pull his hand free from mine but I held his hand tightly. His head was whipping back and forth and I knew he was just about there. I gave one more tug on his balls and he froze.

"I'm gonna come" Edward yelled.

That was when I pulled away and stood from the floor.

"Sorry baby, but I have to go to the beach. You have fun and stay out of trouble." I turned and a smile broke out on my face as I almost ran to the front door. Edward was faster though and he beat me there. He was breathing like he had just ran a marathon. His eyes were flat black with anger and lust. Exactly what I was going for.

"You are not going anywhere" Edward said in a deadly voice. I think I gulped, but his voice made me instantly hard. Edward grabbed both my shoulder and spun me around, pushing me face first against the front door. His ground his hard cock against me though my clothes making me whimper.

"You think it's funny to tease me Jake?" his mouth was right next to my ear and I shivered. "You think you can suck me almost to orgasm and just stop and leave?" He was angry I could tell, but instead of being scared it turned me on. I was sure my cock was going to tear a hole in my shorts I was so hard.

"I think it's time to show you just who the Alpha is in this relationship" He almost growled. God it was sexy and I could do nothing but whimper. Suddenly my shorts were torn from my body and his cock was inside me hard and fast. I screamed because it hurt because he didn't prepare me, but fucking hell, it felt so good. He took both my hands and held them with our fingers laced together against the wall. His mouth was sucking on my neck as he pounded into me. Edward didn't need to breath and he would never get tired so his hips never faltered.

I'm sure it sounded like someone was being murdered the way I was crying out and screaming his name, but I couldn't help it. Every once in a while he would shift his hips and pound right into my sweet spot, making me cry out even louder. I briefly wondered how me teasing Edward turned into screaming sweaty sex, hard and fast against the door. That thought was quickly pushed away though as a tingling sensation started as my finger tips and my toes. As Edward continued to push inside me hard and fast, the tingling quickly made it to my center. My stomach muscles started to convulse and my balls started to tighten, and I knew I was in for a major, come to Jesus, orgasm like I had never had before.

"I want you to come for me Jacob. I want you to come hard. I want to feel you clamp down on my dick and I want you to scream so the whole fucking reservation can hear you. Do you understand me?" Edward growled

I couldn't speak. That had to be the fucking hottest thing Edward had ever said to me. Edward used his foot and moved my legs, that has been spread apart, together making me tighter and thrust inside hard and deep, pushing me against the door with a bang and I was done for. A wail erupted from my lungs sounding almost like a howl and my body was convulsing hard. Edward wrapped an arm around my body and held me while I shook and whimpered and yelled over and over again. Somewhere in the middle of my life altering orgasm I felt him spill inside me. It was cold, and Edward kept thrusting as his orgasm ran down my legs.

I don't know how long my orgasm lasted, but when I was able to start thinking coherently again, I found myself in Edward's arms, on the floor. Edward was kissing my neck gently and rocking me back and forth very slowly. My body was limp against his chest. My body had no energy left.

"Are you ready to go to the beach baby?" Edward whispered. I wasn't able to make my body move, even to nod. I was only able to whisper "I knew it would work" against his chest. Edward laughed loudly and helped me to stand on wobbly legs.

Twenty minutes and a fresh pair of shorts later, Edward and I walked down to the beach. I don't know if it was the life altering sex or just having Edward with me, but I was ready to face whatever was going to happen at the beach. There was no fear. I was sad sure, but I also found acceptance in my life and I wasn't going to let anyone make me feel bad because of it. I would say goodbye to my father and accept that he was with my mother in heaven. They were together forever and now I was free to have my forever with the love of my life.

The sun was just setting when we got to the beach and it seemed that the whole town was sitting around the bonfire. My sisters both hugged Edward and I as we joined in the circle. Edward and I still received strange looks as we held hands, but that wasn't going to change.

The elders of the tribe held the traditional Quileute funeral ceremony. It was beautiful even though I didn't know the words they were saying. When it was over, Sam held my father's oak urn and slowly walked the circle so everyone could touch it and say a few words. Sam skipped Edward and stopped in front of me. He placed the urn in my hands and stood.

"Jacob, your father wanted you to have his ashes. The wolf engraved in the oak represents you. He wanted you to know that he was proud of you every single day. As the last male member of the Black family you are now the protector of your fate and your family name."

My eyes filled with tears and I tried to blink them away. As I traced the wolf carving with my finger I whispered "Thank you"

The bonfire broke up and everyone stood around talking. My sisters and I sat together looking at the urn and they told me they were happy that I would be taking his ashes with me back home to Alaska. I told them about the dream I had of our mother and we cried together. At the end of the night Edward and I stood and said goodbye to everyone and then drove back to my fathers house. I knew that Edward had to be out of the reservation by the next morning, so when we got back to the house we packed the rest of my belongings into the rental car, along with a few of my parents pictures and mementos that I wanted to keep. My sisters would take care of the rest of the house. They were going to stay for a week and move the rest of my father's things to storage and turn the house over to the reservation before going back home.

I kissed my sister's goodbye, and they both hugged Edward. They both exchanged numbers with Edward so he could invite them to come visit our home sometime in the future. I would have to call them before that happened and tell them about Bella before they came to visit. I wanted my sisters to be apart of my family with the Cullens. I knew Alice and Esme would love them as much as they loved me.

The sun was just starting to rise as Edward and I drove back across the La Push border. The wolves weren't in formation this time but we could see them all sitting just inside the trees along the border. I didn't know if I would ever come back here, but I would miss all of them.

Edward and I drove back to forks to his old house. We were staying the weekend so we could go and visit Charlie. We couldn't tell him about Bella, but we promised her we would stop and make sure he was taking care of himself. Until then Edward and I had a huge empty house and two whole days alone. I wonder what we could do to pass the time?

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End Note: Let me know what you think. Next chatper we will hear from Bella and what she has been going through.


	7. Bella's Outtake

Author's Note: OK, everyone this is an outtake from Bella's POV. Things get a little emotional, but I thought we needed to check in with her and see what has been going on in her life. don't worry though we will get back to our boys next chapter. I wonder if they will Cristen the old Cullen mansion before heading back to Alaska. Only time will tell. Enjoy.

* * *

Bella POV:

"_Baby, do you want to order pizza for dinner? or do you want me to pick up some Chinese on the way home from my parents house?"_

The memory hit me so suddenly that the dead stag slipped from my hands, and my knees gave out and I sank to the ground.

_Smiling I turned from the computer to look at Stephen getting dressed in the bedroom. _

"_Sure Chinese sounds great, I might be a bit late getting home from work tonight though. I need to talk to my boss about getting our anniversary day off next week."_

The memory was a week before our three month anniversary. Stephen and I both had the day off from school, but I still had to work. We had spent the day cuddling and watching movies. I was sitting at the computer trying to finish a term paper before I had to leave for work and Stephen was getting ready to leave for his parents anniversary party.

_I had just hit the save button and sent my paper to the printer when two strong arms wrapped around my waist, and soft lips met the back of my neck. "you smell so good, are you sure you have to work tonight?"_

_I chuckled and leaned my head to the side so he could reach more skin. I started to tell him that I couldn't miss work, but when Stephen gently nipped at my neck, my eyes closed and I leaned back against him."_

A strangled sob shook my body and I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn't want to remember this. I bowed my head and covered my face with my hands.

"_Stephen" His name came out of my mouth breathlessly. He knew when he kissed my neck all coherent thought left my head. When he bit down a little bit harder on the side of my neck, I gasped and my hands slid into his soft black hair._

"Stop. Please, Stop" I sobbed. My hands slid into my hair and balled into fists as I tried to make the memory go away. It hurt too bad to think about my life with Stephen. Most of the time I could block the memories from my mind, but the times that I couldn't, I found something to distract myself. But, sitting here on the forest floor, A half drained deer in front of me, the memory refused to be pushed aside.

"_Baby...You...You have to stop, or I will be late for work." My head told me I needed to stop, but my body refused to comply. My head turned to the side and my hands pulled his lips to mine. His spicy cologne, his damp hair, and the minty taste of his freshly brushed teeth set my body on fire. He spun my chair around and his arms wrapped around me, pulling me to my feet and flush against his body. Our mouths never left contact as he walked backwards towards the couch._

"_Baby...Work...your...parents...dinner...term...paper" I tried to reason with him between kisses, but when his hands slid down my back and his hands stopped to squeeze my ass, I gave in. I let Stephen lift me up and wrap my legs around his waist as we fell onto the couch"_

"Bella!" A voice called from somewhere in the forest. I couldn't make my body move though. I told the family that I was going to hunt earlier that morning and that I would only be a couple hours. I wasn't sure how long I had been sitting here on the ground, but I didn't want to open my eyes. It could be evening by now and I wouldn't have known.

_I woke some hours later still on the couch just as Stephen walked in the room carrying two cups of coffee. With a breathtaking smile he sat down next to me and leaned in for a kiss. My mind hadn't yet caught up with me, but when it did, I pulled back from Stephen with wide eyes. Before I could start to freak out about work, or his parents anniversary he pressed a finger to my lips with a chuckle._

"_Relax Bella, I called work for you and told them you were sick with the flu. Your boss said to get better and to call her when you wake up. My parents told me to stay home with you to make sure you get better." He chuckled again. "So miss Swan, looks like we have a free evening to ourselves. What do you suppose we can do to pass the time?" He raised his eyebrow trying to look innocent, and I immediately curled over in hysterics._

When the memory floated away again I finally opened my eyes. I could tell it was night, but I could only see my knee's. I remembered falling to my knees, but It looked like I had curled myself into a ball on my legs. My hands were on either side of my head and my for head was on the ground in front of my knees. Kind of like they teach you to do in school during a tornado drill.

My body was trembling as I sobbed and whimpered quietly. Why wouldn't this memory go away? I didn't understand why this memory was so important that it refused to be blocked away with all the other ones. Slowly I sat up on my knee's and looked around. The deer still laid where I dropped it, but other then that the forest was silent. My clothes were filthy from being on the ground the whole day and I was sure my hair was a mess from my hands gripping it so hard.

"_Bella, love, you have to calm down and breathe. It wasn't that funny"_

_The laughter stopped immediately, and my eyes locked on Stephens._

"_What did you just say?" My heart was thundering in my chest and my hands started to shake._

"_What's wrong Bella? I just said you should calm down and breathe" His eyes looked worried, and his head cocked to the side looking at me, trying to figure out why all of a sudden I was so serious._

"_You called me 'love'. Why did you call me that? You have never called me that, why did you call me that now?"_

_Stephen knew nothing about Edward. He didn't know Edward used 'Love' when talking to me while we were together. He had no clue that he had just opened a deep, dark, painful hole in my chest all over again._

"_Baby, Whats wrong? Did I do something wrong? If you don't like to be called 'love', I wont ever say it again" He reached for my hand, but I immediately yanked it away and got up from the couch. Tears were streaming from my eyes, before I was able to get to the bathroom and lock myself inside._

_I slid down the backside of the door in just my underwear and a t shirt. I felt like my heart was breaking all over again. I had tried so hard to let Edward go. I gave my heart to Stephen and I loved him deeply, but I knew what Edward and I shared would never be forgotten. Then I got angry. Why did that one little word freak me out so bad? Edward said it to me all the time, and I knew he loved me when he said it. I knew Stephen loved me. Why did it hurt so bad when he said it? _

"_Bella, honey, I'm so sorry, please come out and talk to me.." His voice broke "Please tell me what I did wrong."_

_I couldn't stand to have Stephen hurting because of me, so I stood and opened the door. His face looked broken, and my heart broke a little more. I didn't want him to hurt because of me. He didn't know why I had freaked out, he was just trying to be sweet to me, and I was a jerk and ran away. I knew I needed to sit him down and explain what happened. I slowly walked forward and took his hand, walking us back to the couch to sit down._

_I told him everything...Or as much of "everything" that I could. I told him I how I met Edward and how we fell in love almost instantly. I told him about the Cullen's and how most of them welcomed me into the family. I skipped over James, and told him about my 18th birthday party. How Jasper got "a bit rowdy" and I hurt my arm. I told him Edward freaked out and broke up with me because he thought I wasn't safe around his brother's anymore. I was telling only half truths, but I couldn't tell him the vampire secret so it was the best I could do._

_I told him about Jacob and how he helped me to pick up the pieces of myself when Edward left me. I skipped Volterra and told him that Edward eventually came back, because he said he couldn't live without me. Stephen held my hand and listened to my story. His face was blank the whole time just watching me. He didn't judge me or bad mouth Edward. And then I had to explain to him somehow that Edward had fallen in love with Jacob._

" _A week before the wedding Jacob came over to my house. Edward and I had been just hanging out and cooking dinner for Charlie when he knocked on the door. Edward and Jacob hated each other so I had to try and keep them apart. Jacob knew that Edward hated him and took every chance he could to drive him up the wall. So when Jacob walked in the door, he pulled me into a big bear hug, making sure that Edward saw everything."_

_I paused, because this was the moment that Jacob had imprinted. I didn't know how to explain that something magical happened making my fiance fall in love with my best friend. I was going to have to lie, but the end result would be the same._

"_I found out later that week that Jacob had developed "Feelings" for Edward. He said that he looked into Edward's eyes and he knew. He knew they were meant to be together. I was angry at first and scared that Edward was going to leave me. Edward, of course, assured me that he did not share the same feelings that Jacob had. He promised that he wouldn't leave me and that we were going to get married and have a long happy life together."_

_I stopped and took a deep breath. Stephen didn't say anything, but I could tell he was extremely curious as to what happened that Edward and I didn't end up together._

I opened my eyes again and found myself sitting against a tree. Somehow during my memory's I had scooted myself away from the deer and curled myself into a ball against the nearest tree. My knees were pulled up against my chest and my forehead rested in my knees. I had stopped sobbing but small whimpers would escape every now and then. I didn't want to be here anymore. I wondered why Alice hadn't seen me freaking out and come for me yet. Didn't they wonder where I had been the whole day?

"_The week passed quickly and soon I found myself in Alice's bathroom getting dressed for my wedding. My dress was beautiful, and even though Alice had forced me into high heels, I didn't trip once as I descended the stairs and took my father's arm. Things were going perfectly and I wanted to cry as Charlie laid my hand in Edward's."_

_Another deep breath._

"_As the preacher started to speak Edward stopped him. I could tell there was something off with his eyes. For the first time since I had met him, he looked terrified. He looked like he wanted to run as fast as he could. "I'm sorry" Were the only words he said, and then his beautiful eyes went to Jacob and I knew. I knew that Edward had fallen for Jacob, and the wedding was off. _

"_I left the house, still in my wedding dress, and came to California. Only Edward and his family, including Jacob, know that I am here. My family thinks that I ran away. I am only telling you all of this because Edward used to call me "love" when we were together. I wasn't expecting you to say it, and it sort of freaked me out. I'm sorry"_

_I ended my speech by leaning into Stephen and putting my head against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and held me for a long time, never saying a word. I must have dozed off because I woke sometime later still in Stephens arms. I could tell he was awake because his hand was on my back and he was very slowly traced my spine with his finger tips._

"_About time you woke up" he said with a light chuckle._

_I sat up and smiled at him. He smiled back, but I could tell he was a little sad. I took his hand and brought it to my lips kissing his palm._

"_Stephen, I'm so sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have freaked out on you. You didn't know about Edward. I should have said something way before now. Can you forgive me?"_

_He smiled his beautiful smile and leaned in to kiss me. It was short and sweet, but he still made my heart flutter._

"_Baby, can I ask you a question?" he asked me softly, his hand now playing with a strand of my hair._

"_Of course, you can ask me anything" I replied._

"_Are you completely over Edward?" His face was completely serious, and his blue eyes were on the verge of tears._

"_Of course I am," I replied "I love you, Stephen" I said scooting closer to him. I brought my hand up to touch his face. "Why would you ask me that?"_

_Stephen took a deep breath and his eyes looked away from mine._

"_It's just that, when we first got together we would always end up sleeping in the same bed, weather it was at my place or yours. The first time you said my name in your sleep, it was the day before you told me you loved me."_

"_Okay..." I said. I was confused as too why he was telling me this._

"_Bella," His eyes came back to mine "Just now, when you fell asleep, you said 'Edward'"_

_I sat frozen in stunned silence. I was so sure that I was over him. Sure it still hurt to think about him, or even talk about him, but I had moved on. Right? I knew in my heart that I had fallen for Stephen and I was happy. We were living together and I was pretty sure that Stephen was close to purposing to me. Before I could say anything Stephen shifted next to me on the couch and stood to his feet. He held out his hand and helped me to stand, pulling me against him for a hug._

"_I think I am going to make an appearance at my parents dinner. Why don't you lay down for a bit and I will bring you home dinner later." Stephen said, and then he kissed the top of my head and turned for the door._

"_Stephen" I said, before he could shut the door. I didn't want him to leave like this._

"_You know that I love you right?" I asked, because I did love him. He was sweet and wonderful and caring. I would spend the rest of my life trying to make him happy if he would have me._

"_I know baby, I love you too. Get some rest and I will be back later." He said with a sad smile, and then he was gone._

_That was the night that I had to admit to myself that I did still love Edward. I knew from the Jacob/Edward experience that it was possible to love two people at the same time, but I also knew that it almost destroyed us all. Granted they were both magical creatures, but no super human strength or extra abilities could effect matters of the heart. Yes, I loved Edward and Yes, I loved Stephen, but I knew that if I had to make the choice again, like I had to do with Edward and Jacob, I would choose Stephen over Edward._

_Stephen was my future._

Or so I thought.

When Stephen died, I was nearly destroyed. Again. I found myself questioning how many times my heart could be shattered before I simply gave up. How many times would I put myself out there for love, only to have it snatched away. When Stephen died, I cried and I screamed and I grieved alone. I quit school. I quit my job and I didn't leave our bed for two weeks after Stephens funeral. It felt exactly like when Edward had left me after my birthday. Except I knew that Stephen loved me. I just knew that My heart was hallow, and he would forever be the missing piece my heart would long for.

Two weeks in bed gave me a lot of time to think. I thought about the Cullen's a lot, not just Edward. I thought about Esme and Carlisle. They were the perfect parents and they were exactly what I needed. I needed someone to hold me and tell me that I wasn't crazy. I needed the loving support they had always showed me. I needed the hyperactive Alice to be my best friend again. I needed the perfect glare from Rosalie, the tight bear hugs and boisterous laughter from Emmett. And, most of all I needed Edward.

I needed to know that he was happy. I wanted to see him in love my best friend.

"It won't always be so hard you know"

My head snapped up from my knees to see little Alice sitting on the ground in front of me. She gave me a sad smile and then scooted over next to me. She wrapped her tiny arms around me squeezed me in a tight hug.

"Jasper found you a few hours ago. He came back because he said you were giving off some pretty strong emotions. He said it felt like you were grieving."

I said nothing.

"I don't think I ever told you this Bella, but when you were in California and you made the decision to come and find us, I had a vision of you coming. I knew you would be one of us."

I nodded.

We sat in silence for a long time. The memories, that had been assaulting me the whole day seemed to be over.

"You all lied to me," I said before I could stop the words from coming out of my mouth. I hadn't meant so say it, but it was too late and I was going to have to explain, and it was going to kill me. Alice turned her body once again so she was sitting directly in front of me.

"How so?" she asked confused.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I couldn't look at her.

"Back when Edward and I were together, you all told me the transformation from human to Vampire would be the worst pain I could ever feel," I stopped and lowered my legs so that they were crossed mirroring Alice.

"You were wrong." The transformation was horrible but I knew worse pain.

"Nothing could ever hurt worse then sitting in the middle of that street, with Stephen laying in my arms, watching his life slip away." my voice cracked. "I would gladly take the pain of my transformation a hundred times over, just to have that moment back."

Alice reached for my hand and took it in hers. I looked up and saw sorrow in her eyes.

"It kills me Alice, that I will live for eternity remembering his eyes. Every time I close my eyes I see them. I see him lying there in pain and struggling to breathe. He knew he was going to die and right before he took his last breathe, he told me how much he loved me." His eyes had never been more beautiful.

"I'm so sorry, Bella" Alice whispered, as she once again scooted closer to me and wrapped me in her tiny arms.

"I know this won't make you feel better, but you have to know that it will get easier. You have to let yourself feel the pain and grieve before you can move on. You just have to keep reminding yourself that he loved you and he made you happy. Eventually you will be able to remember him and smile."

Alice leaned back and took my face in her hands, looking directly into my eyes.

"I look forward to that day, you want to know why?" Alice asked. I nodded.

"Because I want to know all about the human boy that made my best friend fall I love. I want to know what he did to make you laugh. I want to know what your first date was like. I want to hear about the first kiss, the first fight, and most of all, I want to know what you saw in his beautiful blue eyes that you loved so much."

I fell into her arms sobbing. I felt like she was ripping me open. She was making me think about things with Stephen I hadn't allowed myself to think about since his death. When Stephen died I closed myself off and pulled a layer of numbness around me. I hoped that becoming a vampire would make me forget but it didn't work.

"You just remember Bella, You are my sister and best friend. I love you and I will be here for you whenever you need me."

Alice sat with me and let me cry in her arms until dawn broke over the horizon. Very slowly we stood and walked back to the house. Before going inside I pulled her in for a tight hug.

"Thank you, Alice. For everything." I said. She smiled and nodded her head. She took my hand and led me into the house, where my whole family was waiting.

* * *

End Note: I know, I know. I am not a huge fan of Bella like many of you, but I think that she deserves a happy ending too. I'm not sure she will find her happy ending in this story since my main focus is on Edward/Jacob. Maybe I will write a sequel, or a one shot sometime in the future. I'm not sure yet, but I do know that this story seems to be wrapping up. I think one or two more chapters will be the end. Let me know what you think.


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